RYL Forums - non existant

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- - non existant (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14350)

I just realised, that if I were do die, vanish ect, no one would know because there is nothing about me anywhere, I'm not remembered recorded photographed, I dont exist, I used to but I haven't for about 6 years now

I guess, I was looking through peoples myspace's and there are all these things about how much they love their friends and cant live without them, I'm not on any of them, they have photos of all their friends, again I dont exist, I just find it odd that in feeling invisible I have disappeared

I feel as if I am walking inside a dream. A dream that doesn't even belong to be. Everything is so distant and surreal, I honestly dont know the difference between fantasy, nightmare and memory anymore.

I used to think that I hated myself now I dont even know that, everything is just hollow and empty. I hide and I cry, I'm constantly scared. I try not to eat or sleep and try and keep up with school. I try, I'm trying really just I dont know how much longer I can or want to keep this up, there has to be an end sometime and someplace.

*hugs*
What about your family? Do you have friends?
Apart from the internet, do you have your own photos of your family and friends? You do exist, you're not invisible, you are a real person.

Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling? Have you ever considered counselling? You might feel lost at the moment but you can find yourself again, with the right help and support. I hope you can get the help you deserve.
Take care XX

I wish i had some good news for you, ive been there and unfortunately still seem to be there. Im sorry i guess i just wanted you to know your not alone in feeling like this.

If you want to talk feel free PM me. Take care.

You are not invisible, you are a real person. And no matter what you think, people will always awknowledge that you are here. And, there are people out there who love you. I went through this and came out the other side, my friends now were there for me then, I just needed a little helping hand. Often we dont feel good enough to be noticed..which affects our vision of reality.
Talk to somebody you know, reach out. People are often more caring than you think.
Take care, Miriam xxxx

you are very real and you exist
maybe in a different way than you used to, but the internet isnt all that glorious and we all use it as a facade in some way
just because you arent in a few pictures on a website doesnt mean that you arent alive and important
the real world is worth a lot more than the virtual one
quality time, talking to people and going out and seeing them, is worth more than a picture or two, but if you want that validation go out and take a camera with you! these are all things you can change
keep posting and talking - it does help
xxxooo

I tried talking to jelly about it and she was like but your depressed so dont be depressed and youll be ok, I mean she means well but life doesnt work like that. . when I feel like this I dont feel depressed, I just dont feel anything, just numb and hollow