What do you do when you don't think you can be a parent anymore?
 

I'm a SAHM to a 15 month old baby.

I feel that I'm struggling to cope at the moment, it has steadily been getting worse and I have concerns about my ability to cope as a parent.

I've spoken to my HV before, who said she had no concerns but I could arrange an appointment with her in a fortnights time to discuss adoption if I wanted.

The CMHT is going to call me back tomorrow but I'm not in therapy (I was on the waiting list for pyschotherapy and the outreach people discharged me because I didn't reply to a letter). I have no CPN because she discharged me. I'm coming off ADs because I couldn't get the tablets.

I don't know what to do.

My husband won't talk to me because I've cut. I'm led in bed with my baby and I can't cope. He'll wake soon and I don't know if I can do it. I'm struggling so much. I'm completely alone.

Is there a family member nearby that might be willing to take the baby for a while? I know my mother did that when my sister had her second child to try to allow her to handle one thing at a time.

If you're feeling this badly, I would suggest ringing up your local emergency number or get to an emergency department to speak to someone. Hang in there, hon, I'm sending thoughts your way. *hug*

Can you speak with your doctor? Social services might also be able to provide other options, including, as Phoenix says above, respite care.

I don't have any family nearby, I'm totally alone down here.

The Mental Health Team are due to phone this morning, and I'm tempted to ask them to just come and take the baby from me. I'm scared that I'm not functioning.

*hugs*
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time hun. I'm sorry i don't have any advice, i'm not a parent, but i really hope it turns out okay for you.
x

Sorry you're feeling so bad atm. I hope you feel a bit better soon.

You are probably doing much better than you think you are. It is not right of your husband to not talk to you just because you cut. Is he supportive with helping you with the baby?

Maybe you could trytalking to him to get him to help you out a bit more?

This is probably a stupid question, but what is SAHM? and HV?

x

hi,

i dont know if i have any advice but i can share my experience with you. if you fear for your child's safety because of your illness, you need to let someone know. i dont understand why your husband isnt helping you.

my story:

when my son was 5 years old i started dissociating. i would be in this state for hours and his safety was compromised. after a couple months of this, i finally took steps to keep him safe. i called my aunt and uncle (the only people i trusted with him). i asked them to take him for a while. a while turned into 8 years. it was the most painful thing ive ever had to do in my life but the best for my son.

he is 13 now and doing very well and still living with them. they also live 600 miles away so our visits are very short and far between.

i am by no means telling you to send your child away. that is a very personal decision and should be discussed with professionals and your natural instinct as a mother.

you arent alone in this. whatever happens please PM me if you need to talk.

much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

I am so so sorry you're having such a hard time. I don't have any advice, but I really do feel for you. *hugs*

Stay at home mum & home visitor

This may be too late but instead of adoption, would you consider short/medium term foster care whilst your support needs are put into place?