The SH is about to hit the fan.
 

Last night I slipped up. I had been out with two of my friends who are a couple. And they were so loved up and all over each other that I felt like I was in the way. So eventually, I left. And I was thinking about being alone an stuff and things just spiralled and I got really depressed and cut myself. Usually I make sure it's somewhere easily hideable but this time it's on my forearm and wrist. There is no way I can hide this and they're going to see it immediately. We're staying in a hotel on a little weekend trip, the only clothes I have are short-sleeved. They're going to see it and I'm panicking.

The thing is, one of them already knows that I SI. And a week or so ago she had a real go at me about it. We'd had a few drinks and she started saying 'just stop. Just don't do it anymore.' I know she's just trying to help but it really doesn't. She's going to be angry. And unless she's told him, her bf doesn't know anything about it. They're both going to hate me.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm just panicking and really want to run, but I don't know where to go or what to do. Think I'll try going for a walk. Then maybe I can claim I've been hit by a motorbike (I'm in Hanoi - being hit by a motorbike is fairly inevitable.)

I'm sorry you felt so miserable last night. I know how that feels - it really does suck.

Although I think it is probably best to be as open as possible about it to your friends, might you be able to put a plaster on them or slip out and a buy a jumper or something before anyone sees.

I don't think you should hide it from them forever though. Obvioulsy your friend is struggling to understand SH and the reasons behind it, she needs to be given all the facts and needs to learn how to deal with it better.
Maybe when you are back from your trip you could sit her down and explain how you feel when you cut, when it tends to happen etc. Try and emphasise its support you need, not a good telling off.

Sorry, I'm probably not being much help. I hope you can move on from this setback and I hope your friends can find it in them to be supportive xx

hunni,

if youre friends arent supportive about something this serious, why have them? there are many other folks out there that are very supportive and "SI friendly" i would never condone you in doing it but i wouldnt attack you over it either.

im in the midst of it myself right now.
hope you feel better
*hugs*

Thanks :)

Lou, in the end it didn't matter. They were too hungover to see straight, let alone notice my arms.

And Rachel, you're right. They're not the greatest support network but I'm living in Inbred-Shitsville and they're all I have.
Also, I've been following your other threads the last week or so and I really hope you're finding a way to cope.

Love to you both.
S
xx