How to bring it up... gahhh
 

So, I'm on medication, right? And apparently, this medication is supposed to not only supress my explosive anger but also help control my impulses to self harm and engage in eating disordered behaviors, since my T and med coordinator both seem to think that both of my problems are triggered by my anger and anxiety and such.

So anyway, I've been on this medication for a little over a year, and I don't want to sound like I'm relying on it to cure me because I'm honestly not. but you know how sometimes you just know something's not working? That it's not right anymore? That's how I feel. I've had urges while on the meds... but it hasn't been this bad. Lately, I've been purging lots. While before, it was controllable. My self harm is still controllable, but barely. I catch myself with my tools ready and almost to my skin... and I have to basically break down and force myself to regain control. I fear that I'm becoming immune to my meds and that is why this is happening so badly.

Here's the issue. I'm under court mandated treatment so I can continue to live at uni... If I bring these concerns to my next appointment, I fear that the report uni will get will be too concerning for me to return in August. So how would I bring this up or should I not? I'm afraid to wait, but I don't want to screw up my future...

I guess that in the end it comes down to doing what is best for you

you say things havnt been great since being on this medication... is there anyway you can see someone else just for a second opinion?

and depending what they say go from there

in my opinion you deserve to still have a voice through out this period so if talking is hard maybe show your current professionals this post
you deserve the best help and treatment regardless... and if it comes down to it is your health and recovery more inportant than a place at uni???

hard call I know... but your more important!!!

i think bringing it up is a good idea.
it shows that you are noticing things slipping a little and have the strength and sense to seek help before they slip completely.

Since today has been exceptionally bad. I called and made an appointment to talk this over with my team.

I hope the appointment goes well and they are able to offer useful suggestions.

I agree with above, that you should seek what is best for you. Seeking assistance will not necessarily mean you can not go back to Uni. It may be that your meds need adjusting, or that you need to keep a closer eye on things, however - you have picked this up and asked for help and that shows an improvement on prior times.

Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself. Let us know how it goes.

Roiben x