maybe finally
 

i met with my new therapist today. her name is erin and she is probably 15 years younger than i am, which does not mean anything, it's just an observation. i feel reasonably comfortable with her. this is a good thing as i don't have any real choice. she is a grad student being observed by licensed psych professors. please note, i don't think this means she is second rate, or incapable in any way. everyone has to start somewhere, and as i can afford to pay nothing, i am thankful for this program. and i did feel reasonably comfortable with her. i will be glad to see her again.

she is a psych. student at the major university in my town. it's not her i have doubts about, it's me. i have tried counseling before and it's not been very helpful. not that i didn't want it to be, and not that i didn't want to do the work, but no matter what i said, there were never any suggestions on how to address situations differently, now way to gain insight into how other parties involved may be feeling, or why they may be acting as they were. a lot of validation, but no concrete ideas on how i can make things better.

validation is nice, but it is has not helped me in the past. i hope i can get some help with insight, but i'm doubtful that this will transpire.

as an aside, if a man offers a woman food (and i mean platonic friends) after they have had some issues that cause distance, is that some sort of peace offering? i just found it baffling and weird.

Just because therapy hasn't worked in the past doesn't mean that it won't work out this time. It's a good start that you feel reasonably comfortable with her. Give it a go and then after awhile if you don't find it helpful you can always stop. All the best
Kat xxx

just tonight i realized that somewhere between 6 months and 3 years everyone i get close to says i am "acting crazy" and withdraws. considering the time frame i don't think that people think i am "crazy" when they first meet me.........just when i start to get comfortable and show them a a bit of my true self, they turn away for some reason. i'm not saying it's not my fault, it must be, somehow, but it's hard to see a pattern of making friends and once i get comfortable and start showing "me" they run away.

Your not faulty hun. It's them with the issues. Not all people are like that *hugs*