Goodbye you lovely people
 

i have to go now.
i dont feel i contribute anymore.
i feel selfish.
i ask for too much.
i dont give enough help.
and i may lose my internet service soon.
cant keep my brother AND myself up.
ive made many friends here and will miss you all terribly.
im scared to not have you guys anymore.
but i think this is the right decision.
maybe one day....when i can contribute more, i will return.
until then...please take care of yourselves.
i love you all to pieces.
Goodbye :(
xx

*triggering suicide*
 

****.

i cant stay away from here.

im losing my mind.

but i wont ask for support when i cant give it. i just dont think its fair. and ive done it too much.

so...i'll just lurk about.

my mind is so jumbled...i dont know what im doing.

its 3:00am and i cant sleep. im having the scariest dreams.
and for the first time in a while i want to die.
but i wont.
im not asking for support, mind you.
just telling it how it is.
thank you.
xx

Dont go Rach.........
You have given so much of yourself to RYL, now its time for you to have some rachel time
Somuch has gone on in your life recently
Take some time for you
But please stay rach
Much love
xxxx

Stay Rachel,
We want to be able to help you- thats what RYL is for.
Please stay xxxxx

please stay rachel, you are important to this community. xxx

Look after yourself hun.
We know that you give what you can when you can and that is all that matters.
Take care
Kim

Considering the amount of love and help you've given us all over the time you've been here I don't think anyone minds you having a period where you can't support much. Anyway, you have been! I've seen stuff you've said, even in the last week after your dad and everything, and you've been caring and supportive. Which is just you being you.

Don't go away. I'll do this face ---> :-( ...I will...I'll do it...

tell your mom that you can't pay your brother's way anymore. it's not right, you aren't his keeper or his mother. mand x

YES!!! :yeah:

ive told her a thousand ****ing times.
the house is a disaster and im completely drained. i have no energy and just want to stay in bed.
i cantd do this much longder.

thank you guys.

im trying to find my voice.
trying to find myself again.
i feel so odd.
the tears wont come.
thats the worst part.
the constant lump in my throat and chest.
and i really want to cry but i cant.
im seriously conditioned not to.

anyhow...thanks for supporting me when im in such a shape that i cant be of help to you guys.
love to all
xx

meh....i cant even leave ryl.
im so dependent.

its coz you love me...you're addicted to my love.

tell your mom you cant afford the house on your own, effectively if she doesn't help pay for your brother, you're going to have to sell up anyway. maybe bite the bullet and get a valuer round...your mom might sit up and take notice then. mand x