Helping Others (Potentially Triggering - Unsure?)
 

Last Monday was interesting. I was at work and I went down to check the river levels as it had been raining and I was supposed to be taking a group out. The rivers set back from the centre on a public footpath but at 9am its always pretty quiet down there. Sat by the gates there was this old man and he was just sat there with his bike in frount of him on the grass. He was talking to me making not much sense but it was obvious that there was something wrong with him. He hadn't seen me at this point and i started to panic a little bit, loads of stuff running through my head, I was feeling pretty vunerable and paranoid... To cut the story down ended up phoning the paramedics, he was a bit of an alcoholic and had taken a cocktail of over the counter medicines, Having difficulty breathing, talking about dieing and how to would be a nice place to rest peacefully by the river. He also asked me if i could find some pretty bit titted blonde that he could **** before he died. When the paramedics arrived he volunteered the information that he had knife on his person.

We had to keep to bike at the centre as he went in the ambulance. He picked his bike up on monday. I wasn't around but he spoke to my boss and said to pass on a message to me to say thanks and that he probably would still be there if i hadn't bothered with him and he was glad that i helped him.

It was horrible. I don't want to have to deal with that again. It was so triggering, i had the choice though, and I put him first and put myself in a potentially dangerous environment. I feel vunerable enough around people I trust let alone any one else. Should I really be that bothered by it?

i think you should be proud of yourself for helping this man.
so many people would have just walked the other direction

You did the right thing and should be proud of yourself.
It was a scary and difficult situation so of course it has effects but you handled it calmly and came out of it safe so well done.

I think you did the right thing and you handled it well, so well done

you did the right person, you can't assume everyone has a knife, you can't assume everyone has taken od's or alcohol, there are genuine medical conditions that reflect this.

it wasn't nice what he said but he probably wasn't aware/didn't care (if he tohught he was on his way out of this life), and of course he doesn't know your situation.

you did so so well, ann. you helped a vulnerable person. you saved his life.
my hero (ine) mand x

It was like looking at myself, where i could be though.

Taking an OD, being taken to hospital.

I keep wishing it was me. Hoping that no one found me, to save me.

But I found him and saved him. He thanked me - However if I was him I wouldn't thank him for saving me.

I can't seem to get it out my head.

you don't know what you would do Ann. After being in that situation, he could have changed his mind (like you could) when it was too late to help himself.

you could decide not to let these feelings win, not to let that loser keep on affecting your life and go to get up and get yourself to a&e and your legs won't work.

Scary as it was, you handled it well.
You did well, Ann.
Sorry its stirred things up for you.
Are you still in ctc with anyone, to talk this over?
xx

No one to talk to, no meds.
Don't wnt to talk .
dnt want to breath
i need everythig to egt out my headf
i fcant do thisanymore.....