so so lost
 

where to start ... i have no idea . i have all these thoughts going around in my head it feels like its going to explode . all i can think about is si and dying . i just want everything to end . i havnt si in a few months so i know when i do it will be bad , its taking over my every thought getting harder everyday not too . by writing it down here am hoping it will help as someone else will know how much am struggling .am so fed up of smiling and saying everything is ok when its not (i cant say its not they dont want to hear that) . i dont even know whats making me feel so bad so cant change it :crying:. i just need a hug

Firstly *hugs* and congratulations on not SIing for a few months.

Is there any reason why you can't open up to anyone in real life about all this? For what it is worth I can see from your post how much you are struggling.

I think when things get to the point where you are about to explode and feel as bad as your post suggests then you need to reach out to somebody, possibly someone 'professional' and asks for some help.

Well done on not self-harming in a few months, that is a really good effort. I know it's hard but I think you should talk to someone about what's going on for you. Maybe a doctor? With support you can get through this. Hold on there.
Kat xxx

my doctor just passes me off to the hit team and they dont do any good . i cant tell my family as its not what the want to hear . my post was pointless but i just needed someone to know am not doing ok someone who wont judge me or be disappointed in me for not been strong .thank you for the kind words and hugs hugs are always needed thank you

Posting on here is never pointless, even if it's just to have someone listen. Can you tell your doctor that the team are not helpful?

sorry...ive only just seen this hun.
i think its good that youve written it out and shared how much you are struggling right now. I think you ought to speak to your doctor but also tell him that you dont fint the 'hit' very helpful...there may be an alternative means of help that he can offer. love you hun xx