How do you pick yourself up after breaking 13 months?
 

I've started cutting again after thirteen months whole. It started during a really bad dissociative episode (I was trying to come off Risperdal... yeah, that didn't happen), and has just continued. I feel like a monumental failure for going so long and then falling off the wagon. Just when I thought I had accomplished something I blow it. It just seems... so futile now. Like, I could try and try so hard for so long, and just when I think I'm safe it doesn't matter any more. And now I keep thinking and thinking about it, and wanting it. I like pain – I've known this for over a year, but I've been able to find healthier ways of expressing it. But... now that I'm going again it just feels good. I need to put the breaks on this and find the will to try again, I just don't know how.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. Very well done with the 13 months, that shows that you can do this. Build on the things that have helped you through before. I know it's very difficult after going so long without self harming and then feeling the release again but it's not impossible to get back on the road to recovery. You're not a failure at all, we all slip up sometimes. Think of all of the reasons why you should stop self harming, they are far better than the reasons why you might want to continue. Self harming will only make things worse for you in the long run.

Did you talk to your doctor first before trying to come of Risperdal? It's important that you have support through this.

We are all here for you. Take care.

You know, I asked myself that same question.

13 months is great hun.
You can pick yourself back up hun.
Think of how you were when you started the 13 months?
Could you try distractions?

As said, it's important you have support when coming off medication.
Hope you're feelin' a little better.
Please contact me anytime if you want to talk, hun. x

How are things going by now?

I know slipping up - at any point - can feel pretty disappointing, but it's not that bad. So you were feeling rough one day, while trying to come off medication... that's a super stressful situation for anyone to be in! Feeling upset and guilty over that is just going to add to that stress. You went 13 months without - try and focus on that. You made that once. You can do it again.

Try to remember what made you stop in the first place. Think of all the annoying things about self harm. Can we say itching? Hiding? All the unpleasant things you leave behind by using those healthier coping methods.

Humans are creatures of habit - it's not surprising that when things go downhill we turn to what we know, and self harm is a strong habit. It's not impossible to break though, and the more you replace it with other methods, the more those urges to harm will fade.

I hope you're feeling better by now.

I also slipped up after going a while without cutting recently. It sucks and I can totally sympathize. Cutting is a strong habit, but it can be broken. It takes a long time. It takes hard work. It takes all the strength you've got. But it's worth it. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

I went for a very long time without Self Harming before I started up again. It must have been about two years.. (I'm really bad of keeping track)
The thing about slipping up after a long period of time is that if you can do it once, then you can do it again. The trick is not to fall back into the habit.
I hope that you feel better soon. xxxxx

I went almost three years with cutting I know what it's like to relapse I recently have started cutting again is so hard to not and fight those urges kno one truly understand unless you've experience it people jus thin it so easy to stop but it's not it's like a drug addiction