....Failed....
 

Wednesday 25th May 2010

it would have been a week SI free if only i could have ODed.
but i didn't- i guess you could say that's good- right? but its not i failed in another way. i cut, to make the thoughts go away. The thoughts of never being good enough, cause im not good enough, ill never be good enough, because im useless, fat, a huge waste of space and time... that i don't deserve to be on this earth because all i do is hurt people. Becasue i keep getting low grades and i am an emotionally dependant person who will always pull others down. SO to make these thoughts go away i DID the one thing i was trying not to. It all got too much again, it always does.

i always say its not a failure its a slip up. A slip up that happens on this road because its a ****ing hard one to travel down. I know you are in a very negative frame of mind and me telling you you arent all of the above you wont believe. But please stay strong xxx

Hey Hun,
Don't be so hard on yourself. I don't want to sound cliched but I do belive that slipups are part of the process. Its more important that you pick yourself up and move on then let it get to you and give up. Its not just about the SI, its also about the negative thoughts that are making you feel like you need to harm yourself. Have you thought about addressing these issues also?
Let me know how things go and I hope that you feel a little better soon :) xxx

Hun, you're not a failure. You've tried, that's the main thing. *hugs*
You're not a waste of space or anything.
Do you have any professional help or support? Prehaps it would be a good idea to think about it, if not.