advice needed young child
 

ok so i cant say too muchdue to confidentiality and everything and i must be really careful etc.
but anyway i teach a class of 5 and 6yr olds and i have this little girl who is really needy and wants a lot of attention which obviously with a class full i cant always devote my whole time to her. she has however noticed i cant ignore her if she needs first aid. I first noticed this a few weeks ago when she had a scab that she said hurt, now in order to carry on the lesson and because it was the truth i pointed out that it was a scab and i could do nothing about it now it was healing. 5 mins later she had picked the scab until it bled demanding the necessary attention.
this over the past few weeks has happened on at least 3 other occaisions i can think of, including pulling out a wobbly but not loose tooth. i am not neglecting this child she recievce the same if not more attantion than others but i cant be next to her every moment.
I know it is for attention but at that age its different, an actual cry for it. im getting very worried by her behaviour and would appreciate any advice on how to handleit. I have already passed my concerns onto the relevant staff in the school.

I'm not sure but I think you need to be really careful to keep seperate the reasons why you and we hurt ourselves from what this child is doing to get attention. At a young age she wants attention and has figured out she can get it if something is wrong, I think that is a different thing from self harm. I'm not saying that there isn't something wrong with her that she is so clingly and wants attention so much that she will pick scabs but I don't think she is self harming in the way that we would define it. Also you can't pull a tooth until it's very loose, she just wouldn't have been able to remove it unless it was very nearly ready to come out so that isn't as worrying as it would first seem. And picking scabs is human nature!

Set up a socially speaking group like Time to Talk where she will get attention in a positive way.

I don't know what to tell you advice wise but I would be concerned with the behavior too. Likely something is going on at home whether it's she isn't getting the care and attention she should be or something else I'm not sure but if she's acting out to get the attention of a teacher this much it's good that you're reported it to relevant school personnel.

thanks for the advice, i have separated the 2 issues, i just put the warning on as it was best fit. it is just the constant need to be noticed i find worrying and the lengths she will go to to get it. hmmm i dont know.

i know this it was more i couldnt do anything because it wasn't bleeding followed by her attitude of it is now so you have to deal with it.

Maybe have a word with the ed psych when they are next in without naming the child?

maybe you could have the school counselor talk to her? chances are there probably is some reason she needs so much attention, and it's really good to catch it early. she may not be self harming in the way that we think of it, but it's only a matter of time before she hears or sees something about self injury and starts doing it as well. And even if a child starts self harm for attention, it can quickly turn addictive. So I think it's a good thing you're alerting staff to it now, so someone can work out why she needs so much attention and help her find healthier ways while she's young before it turns into something very destructive. I definitely can see why you're concerned and I'd just suggest continue talking to school staff, see if she can see a school counselor, and maybe just encourage her to interact with other students as well as praising her when she does stuff independently.

Are you able to talk to the kid's parents about this?

Also, for immediate practicality can you minimise the attention given when she does do something like that. Like if it's not urgent make her wait a couple of minutes before you do anything or give her instructions rather than hands on care e.g. tell her to get a tissue for the bleeding rather than doing it for her. I'm sure that she does need attention but you don't want to reinforce the idea that she will get it for this kind of behaviour. Don't know how practical that is with a 5/6 year old, just an idea.

I don't know how long you have been teaching but I taught primary school, mostly infants, for 28 years and I'm afraid you will come across a lot of children like this. She can be demanding attention for many reasons. A chat with the parents might give you some inkling but be aware that it can take a long time to get vulnerable people to trust you. I don't know what kind of area you teach in but I taught in a deprived area and when I wanted to get to the root of a problem it would often take an hour of chatting till the parent can come round and tell you their problems, and sometimes many times to get there.
This little girl is obviously needing attention for some reason. What is she like academically, socially, appearance etc. What do the other children think of her? Do they like her? Do they play with her? Remember even very young children can be horrible to each other. You don't actually, have to answer these questions. Just something to get you thinking. :>)
I think you did the right thing to inform senior staff and I wouldn't hesitate to go back to them if it continues. Could you maybe do something that will boost her self esteem in a more positive way? Do we still have 'helping hands' in the infant classroom these days? :-D Give her responsibility for a job that is hers and only hers. Say thank you and well done, Mary, but don't go too overboard so doesn't obsess about that particular thing. How about a reward sheet for her? I sat on my seat for X amount of minutes = a star, 10 stars = a sticker and so on.
She's lucky to have you for a teacher.
And the other thing I believe (but I know it's a bit iffy in the current climate) is that physical contact can go a long way with little children like this. A pat on the shoulder, an arm briefly round a shoulder or even a hug can all help. However I don't know what your schools policy is on this but young children thrive on it.

I think you are right, it's the lengths that this girl is going to, to get attention that is the most worrying thing, she has stumbled upon this as way to get attention but it could easily have been some other form of disruptive behaviour. You have done all the right things xoxo