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-   -   why did he have to tell them? (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13526)

sapphire hearts 14-08-2007 08:22 PM

why did he have to tell them?
 
About two months ago, I finally told my dad about the sexual abuse that happened six years ago. I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, cos I was really upset. And then he told half the staff in the day unit that I used (key word: used) to go to! And now I have to talk to social workers and they keep trying to make me talk about and they hint about 'taking it further' when I just want to forget!! Whenever I remember I just want to die, and now whenever I see any of the staff I remember! I feel like I'm so close to the edge, and I just want to kill myself!! How do I make this pain go away? How do I forget?

Bitter_Angel 14-08-2007 08:37 PM

*hugs*
Your dad loves you and while you dont like the way he is being towards this situation, please understand that he is doing it out of love. Your his little girl and you where hurt so bad. He dosnt know how to change that, so he is doing this to try to make things better.

He has never experinced what you have experinced and so he can not know how it feels. He dosnt understand it.

However, I know how you feel. Ad please believe me, this isnt your fault. It never was, it never will be. If you dont want to take things further then that is entirly upto you. If you want to forget everything, then that is your choice as well. However, i think that the fact that you are struggeling so much now, shows that maybe this isnt something that you can forget right now.

If you dont want to take it any further, then tell the social workers that. Make them see that you dont want it to go any further. Then go to someone you can trust and talk about you and your feelings.

Suicide isnt the option hun. You have come so far recently, even if you dont see it yourself. Im so proud of you for all of this. Please know that i believe in you. You can do this hunni. Tell them that you dont want to go any further. Maybe even tell your mum and dad the same thing.

*hugs tightly*
You know where i am if you want to talk.
Kim

bloodletting 15-08-2007 11:10 AM

*hugs* sweetie i think it's a good thing that you were able to tell your dad about the abuse. In his own way he was just trying to do what he thought was best for you by telling the other staff.
But no you don't have to take it any further, but it does sound like you need to be talking to someone about this. It's not something you have to or should deal with on your own.
It can and will get better but you have to start by talking about what happened, you have to get it out hun.
you deserve to be happy
stay safe sweetie xoxoxox

Mrs Sam 15-08-2007 02:36 PM

maybe just tell the staff your not ready to talk about it yet. they only want to help and as hard as it may seem talking about it will help in the long run. you can come to terms with what has happened much better if you talk about it. *hugs*samxxx

KaiyaFred 15-08-2007 05:44 PM

Tell the staff you are not ready to talk about it yet.

Unfortunately though trying to forget about it doesn't really work though. Your post reminds me of my then boyfriend telling my parents what had happened. It still makes me feel sick to be around them sometimes when I remember that they know.


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