I'm so wound up
 

I'm so wound up right now.
I need help to calm down before I say anything else I might regret.

It's all because of insecurity.
I'm scared of losing my job.
I'm scared of my pay being cut so I can't afford to live, even if I kept my job.

That makes me .. vocal and angry.

I KNOW I'm lucky to have my job.
But that doesn't mean everything is a bowl of cherries.

I don't live in luxury.
I can just about afford to live now, never mind any pay cuts.

*Gentle hugs* Hun I think it's understandable the way you feel. Has anything set off these feelings for you? Can you try and do something to relax and calm yourself a bit? Like read nice book or go for a walk or do some writing/drawing.

Yes, some posts on here.

Thanks.

Can you put these posts on ignore at all?

That wouldn't work for me, but thanks.

Beneath all this rage it feels so raw.
It goes right to my heart.

Katie my lovey, I'm very sorry that you are feeling so affected by this.

I know I would be too.

Yeah, it is "lucky" as they put it, to have a job, especially in this day & age(recession & all), but you're very right, it does not mean everything in your life is a bowl of cherries.

Try to remember they were just meaning in regards to your job, not your entire life.

I do think comments like that can have a very bad effect on us because so many of us here have had such unlucky, awful lives, & when someone says that you are lucky, you feel invalidated, down played, & very angry/upset, sometimes even vulnerable too.

It's completely understandable you feel this way honey, and I am here for you, we all are.

Please do keep talking to us, let it all out.

This will pass, it will feel better eventually, you just gotta get through this & you will, you'll feel all these strong emotions for a while, but they will die down soon.

<3
Lots of love.

*wraps you in a blanket & holds you safely*

Thanks so much.... your replies really help. I'm at work right now, and my lunch break is nearly over, so I can't reply in depth right now.
There's elements of another thread that're connected that're also stirring things up, so it's a double whammy.
I'll come back to this later.

And anyone who reads and responds to my posts in response to these threads, can they be aware that this is a major trigger and insecurity thing for me, and I'm not trying to be awkward or whatever.

I don't belong here any more.

*hugs Katie*

Thank you...

*Hugs Katie* What makes you feel like you don't belong here?