I feel nothing
 

I fear that if you were to die right now i would feel nothing.

I just feel nothing except hatred and anger and self pity.

Is this a defense mechanism?

Could be. In what way do you mean? Can you say more?

What i mean is that it seems all positive emotion towards myself and any one has gone.

I honestly dont know what it feels like to love someone ir care about them. Its gone. The process and thought of caring is not there.

If i were to never see another sole again i wouldnt feel any loss of any kind. Its just gone.

There are people i know in the past i have said i loved and care for who are in pain and in need and i have no feelings what so ever towards them.

sorry im not much use at all.

*Is so not invading vets*

Matthew, is there any moment you can think of where this happened, or has it just got worse over a long period? Has it happened before?

I know that I go through phases very similar to this, and have always thought of it as a defense mechanism. They usually come along when I'm feeling shitty myself.

Don't be sorry, you don't have to be any use right now =P

xxx

Might be worth talking this through with your support person/people.

I have times like that, although its usually accompanied by anger and hatred and The Other Me. Protecting against aloneness and abandonment. Sounds like you've gone the other way, into numbness....
Reminds me of the song ".. lost that loving feeling..." when it happens to me. I sometimes find it helps me to play it and sing along..

Matthew honey, you have been going through so much latley. You have coped with so much emotional strain, and yet you still insisted on taking eveyone elses on as well. I think you have burned yourself out, exhausted yourself. Right now, you hate yourself so much that you are shutting everyone and everythng out. Your body is not suppossed to hate itself. So it is canceling eveything. It is getting rid of all emotion, all attachment.

Just go easy on yourself sweetie. Dont give your self a hard time over it. It will come back. The feelings are still there even if your not in touch with them. Try and have a good weekend without worrying about everyone else. And see how you feel when you get back.

Take care hun

sure is a defense mechanism
switching off
but dont let it stay off too long
ahem
"i weeally need to wee dad"

Just wanted to say that you know where I is.
I love you.
It may mean **** all to you right now but **** it.
You're one of my best mates.
xxx

*hugs you*

I'm around, if you want to talk.

I will suggest things with spoons and mugs to make you feel better.