I'm sick of people telling me..
 

that cyclothymica is a *mild* condition?

How can it be when I've taken two overdoses in the last two months, scream at people at the drop of a hat and can't study so am looking at being thrown out of uni in June. I don't know who the hell I am anymore.

And please don't say to go and see my doc, because I'm home from uni right now and I'm registered there and I'm not going to be back in Oxford for three weeks.

You can see a doctor even if you are registered somewhere else, although I'm not sure that really helps. Maybe look at getting support set up for when you go back?

From what I read about Cyclothymia (I learned something new today, so thank you!) it seemed like it was a milder form of bipoloar disorder. You may have other diagnoses that go along with Cyclothymia. For example, I have bipolar II (milder cycling than bipolar I with less extremes in mania and depression) but I also have Borderline Personality Disorder...which is where a lot of my other issues fit in: my anger, my insecurities, fears of abandoment, self-harm, promiscuity, ED, addictions...Now, by no means am I saying this is you, but you could talk to your doc. Tell him/her about your anger, mood swings, outbursts, etc., and there might be something in addition to the cyclothymia that helps pin it down. And the more you can pin down, the better the treatment you can receive. Hope this is helpful... ~hugs~

Well things have kinda been taken out of my hands now. After bringing up blood yesterday in a purge my mum is forcing me to go back to see my dietician, who will no doubt write to my GP in Ox and also tell me to see the docs here. I don't want to. I just wish I could have some control over myself, I'm scared of who I am and I don't want it anymore. :(