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-   -   anger at work (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131015)

CagedBird 26-03-2010 12:46 AM

anger at work
 
I get extremely irritated, frustrated and angry, very, very quickly. I go from calm to anger within seconds. I find it hard to keep it under control. Obviously SH is one of the ways that I do so but it isn't always possible or 100% effective. This issue has caused me so many difficulties, not so much with friendships/relationships as I generally withdraw from them if i'm angry, but professionally it is not a good reputation to gain. And i'm slowly but surely gaining one. I've realised there is a very fine line between being seen as passionate and being seen as angry!

So I need to find a way to reduce my anger. Long term i'm realising that it will be through therapy but does anyone have any ideas for the short term? I know my trigger points but they are very hard to avoid on a daily basis. I've tried telling myself to not say anything at all but it is very hard to control and I've usually found i've said something before I even realise that i am! I've been told that i need to use words like 'I understand your point of view but.....' etc but I find that hard to do in the heat of the moment because I generally believe i'm right and the other person is a complete moron for not seeing my logic.

I know this isn't exactly SH related. But it is really starting to cause difficulties for me and I can feel quite embarrassed afterwards. I need anger reduction techniques please!

akita 27-03-2010 01:13 PM

Can your counsellor help you with that?

CrankyPants 27-03-2010 11:20 PM

I try to realize that in reality, a lot of my anger is misdirected when I'm having a hard time. Just knowing that, I tend to keep my mouth shut longer before I speak.

CagedBird 31-03-2010 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mystery of life (Post 2206236)
Can your counsellor help you with that?

We're working on it but there are a lot of other issues that can get in the way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krisfish (Post 2207345)
I try to realize that in reality, a lot of my anger is misdirected when I'm having a hard time. Just knowing that, I tend to keep my mouth shut longer before I speak.

I am easily triggered so I don't feel the anger is misdirected as much as over the top. Something that would cause mild irritation for most people causes an explosion in my mind. I try hard to breathe and try to see things from the other persons point of view but in that mindset thinking is not overly possible.

Anyway thanks for the ideas. I'm really close to SH'ing over these issues at the moment. I'm completely confused, i feel completely right and justified in my anger but i also think that i'm ridiculous for reacting so extremely. There is lots of things that i'm having flashes of embarrassment about at the moment. I think i shouldn't be allowed to interact with people. I'm a fool.

Whatever. I'm just feeling lots of shame at the moment. I'm either going to go and hide (no work this week with easter which is fantastic) or I'm going to punish myself for being so crap and not being good enough. It could swing either way right now.

I dunno.
I dunno why i'm even writing this. What's the point?

PoisonedApple 01-04-2010 09:35 PM

*huggles*
How are you doing today?

CagedBird 02-04-2010 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelic_monster (Post 2215596)
*huggles*
How are you doing today?

Thanks for asking. I appreciate. A lot.

I'm doing alright, not brilliant, but i've not been too depressed. The SH urge is still there but i've been trying to distract myself - although it becomes so frigging tiring doing this all the time! I'm trying not to think about anything. I don't know what to do with myself this bank holiday, if i stay here i can't isolate (which is what i want to do) and i'm really tired of seeing my housemates, but if i go back home i'll have to talk to my parents and they will no doubt have lots of chattering to do.
Actually jeez, sounds so little but this makes me want to cry. How pathetic am I? I didn't want to get my own flat because I wanted to be around ppl to be healthier, but sometimes I wish i had my own space where i could curl up and forget the world.

:sad: I'm such an ungrateful, selfish loser. Sorry for whining. I never met to write all this.


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