Feeling triggered and don't know what to do :(
 

So I've been feeling triggered for about the last 4/5days. I've managed to keep myself from doing it for that time but it's slowly getting worse. I don't know what to do, I don't have anyone I can talk to or get support from. Usually if I tell one of my close friends I'm having urges it makes them go away somewhat, I'm not quite sure why this is :/ but there's no one for me to tell or to turn to tonight. I don't want to fail again. I don't WANT to SI but it feels like an inevitable thing that will happen one way or another at some point. It's just a matter of when. i feel so ****ing weak for it being like this, I never wanted my life to become like this. People think I'm better, that I've stopped and recovered. But I'm just possessed by SI as I always was, I'm just better at denying it for longer periods of time. I can feel it waiting like some monster in the dark, just waiting till it knows I've become too weak to fight it off. I don't know what to do. I can't distract myself, everything just seems to remind me of it.

I don't have much advice, sorry, but try to think of this. You are having an urge at the moment - forget how long its been there - so you need to work on distracting you. I know this doesn't make sense, but its like, I doubt this urge has been constant for 4/5 days, so maybe you've beaten several already?

Oh Gos sorry i am contradicting myself, I am trying to get myself through urges at the mo when I've gone 8 days, but if we think "Its been x amount of time and I still need to cut", lets see it as 'an urge', no matter which number, so we'll get through that one.

Ugh shut up Gemma you're talking such crap... sorry.

Gemx x

Doesn't make much sense but maybe I can distract myself by figuring out what you mean :) thankyou to replying to my post chickenpie, I hope you're ok :) xxx

Hope your both feeling better :)
xx

Thankyou Badmemories, I'm feeling a little better, hope you are too chickenpie *hugs* xx

get a routine, it really works!

a series of steps you make yourself take when you want to harm, for example here's mine:
Get a small snack, or a drink
Scribble for at least 60 seconds on a piece of paper
Play one round of a video game i like
count backwards from 50
try and say the alphabet backwards
play with a pet of mine <if you have one>
write a bit of poetry/fanfiction/whatever you write

if these don't work rinse and repeat until you find a combination of your own that does! hope this helps you babe...good luck and take care

Don't accept it as an inevitability that you're going to give in. Stay strong, prove yourself wrong. You've made it that long without it, which is really good. Try writing down how you feel if you can't talk to anyone.

I'm sorry you're feeling so crap. If you want someone to talk to we're always here and there are always lots of online sites you could talk to people. Hope you're feelin a little better. Take care. xo