Just A Thought I've Had ****also trig for SA/ED****
 

maybe its possible that everytime i hurt myself, He wins.
again and again cos i use pain to erase that pain.
my bad- i guess.

he hasn't earnt that right Merri.
*hugs*

I've had that thought many times.
He has already caused you so much pain that he shouldn't be causing you to harm yourself. Easier said than done - I know.
Every time I end up harming, its because of him - He doesnt have that right though. You shouldn't punish yourself because he is NOT worth It. He Was in the wrong.
I hope you are okay.

hey thanks for your replies.
i have counselling tomorrow so i dont know but i may bring this point up.

i could have quoted you word for word on that. my abuser wins everytime i SH. sometimes i hurt myself to release pain, other times its to "punish" myself. and other times i hurt myself because pain whether self inflicted or by someone else is a very familiar feeling and i "need" it.

what you said made total sense to me....but im rambling and wish i had something to offer. just know you arent alone.

*gentle snuggles*