Regarding flaming and people bitching about each other *please read*
 

Hey all.
On a website such as RYL, often people get very close very quickly, they are sharing their deepest secrets from the get go and forge very intense friendships. Unfortunately sometimes, these friendships do not last, people fall out, and these secrets are used as weapons.

Quite often the moderators get post reports from people saying that they think others are talking about them in their posts.

Whilst it is most definately against the rules to flame other members in your posts, including the ranting and venting forum, there is NOTHING the moderators can or will do until we have some evidence that one person is writing about another.
We can not edit posts because people *think* they are about them.

So:
1) If you are writing a rant, about a person or situation away from RYL, please try and be specific. rather than 'i ****ing hate you, you bitch' how about trying 'i ****ing hate you, bitch from school' (something along those lines.. you get the jist!) so that people are left in no doubt that it isnt about them.

2) If you are reporting a post that you feel is about you, please please please dont just send us post reports that say 'this is about me, please delete it'. because we wont.. we will pm you and ask why you think its about you, and what proof you have.
It would be beyond helpful if, along with the post report, you send us a bit of information. tell us the situation, tell us why you think its about you, tell us pm's youve received... tell us anything that proves this person is writing about you specifically, because without knowing for sure, we will not edit anything.

Thank you.

The Mods

:-D

And if it's in a reply to a person's own thread, then less details are needed unless relevant, right, as it's fairly self explanatory? Just checking, as I've been in that situation.

do you mean if someone has quoted a post that you have already written?

the post up there ^^^ is mostly reffering to 'private' threads, like in ranting and venting and 'say here what you cant say to others' thread.

I think thats a better way of deeling with it, ive had the problem in the past where threads have just been deleted/moved because of the say so of someone else who thinks i am talking about them and it was never delt with very well.

I always thought this might be an issue, especially when I write threads about myself saying "I hate you" blah blah. So from now on I shall make it clear it is about myself.

However, people can lie cant they to avoid being caught flaming.

I think if you lie about it and say its about someone at school when its not....well theres nothing we can do about it really to be honest.But at least it would stop people thinking its about them!

yeah if someone lied about it then it wouldn't matter cause the whole intention of flaming like that is to get back at the person being flamed, and that wouldn't work if they denied it was about the targeted person. i know in some of my posts if i think it might be unclear, i say "this is not to anyone on ryl" or something similar.

All of what I say isn't about people here. Thanks for posting it though.

I don't really like the idea of having to add a disclaimer to a post. As long as the person isn't named or specifics aren't named, I don't really see a problem with saying 'I hate you' or whatever. In the same way that someone can just add at the end about it being about themselves, or someone at school or wherever, there isn't a way to know who it is about.

For most people, there are no issues with just writing 'i hate you' etc etc, because most people arent having arguments with other members here.. however, some people seem to be in constant arguments with other members here and we get a lot of post reports stating 'delete this, its baou tme' with no proof.

Clarification isnt a neccessity if you arent having issues with members here, however, if you feel people COULD read it to be about them because of whatever is happening, then please either a) dont write it, or b) try and be clear if its about someone away from the site.

yeah with me i don't really have issues with members so it'd be pretty unlikely anyone could think it was about them. but i could see how if you're having an ongoing conflict things could be definitely misunderstood and very difficult for the mods!

i've had occasional differences in opinion/gotten pissed of at people in RYL before but to me it's the internet, i get up, go have tea, take a walk, come back. if i have to, ignore their posts for a while. but i usually don't complain about people in threads, here that is. when i do rant about someone, i'll be sure to be specific, even be like (noone on ryl)

i think it's a good way to avoid conflict.

Could you not just reply to the person who thinks it's about them and tell them to take their head out their arse and inform them that the world stretches further than the end of their road?
If there's no proof it's them then there's nothing you can do, the other person is well within their rights to post whatever they want.

PLUS. A lot of people here feel this is the only place they can rant about things that are bothering them, if it is another member, but no names are mentioned then they're not breaking any rules.

Seems simple enough to me.

I agree with crumple, as long as no names or identifying details are mentioned I think we should be able to rant about anyone we want.

Yes, this is what we have been doing (in a less blunt way), but some days we have been getting 4 or 5 posts reports from x member claiming y members rant is about them. and then y member claiming x is writing about them.

tobe honest, if its not obvious who youre talking about, even if youre talking about someone here, it wont get reported and it wont get edited.

This thread is more about specific groups of friends that are falling out amongst themselves and then blatently bitching about and commenting on the people they are no longer friends with in their rants.

Chances are, if youve read this, and are utterly confused and a bit pissed, its not relevant to you at all!

If only it worked like that..sadly it doesn't..I got pulled up before for ranting about someone and someone reported me- it wasn't even about them and I didn't say any names or anything..and I got infraction points for it..this was a good while a go though.

But you know I totally agree with you on this..I don't read threads and think "Oh this is about me" or anything like that..your right and I'd tell anyone who said "uhh this thread is about me" When it doesn't say "LEIGH (magic) is a ******* *****" to take there head out of there arse and not be so self centred.

I rarely use R/V anymore because of this very reason of people misinterpreting my rants..not that I have 'beef' with anyone on here anymore.

I don't really post a lot but the one rant i have done i didn't really mention names or specifics.

I actually hate it when members are obviously bitching about other members.

That's all I have to offer.

well there's two at the moment who are actively bitching about someone and if you were paying any attention in the last two weeks you'd know its extermely obvious and actually quite boring now. so what do you do when you know they're bitching about someone but don't stop? that and they don't include names but it's really obvious.

I've spotted that from time to time, Tiff. Thing is, it seems so obvious I don't post report as I feel I insult the mods' intelligence to spot it themselves. Does that make sense?