it's too much
 

I HATE admitting this, but I think I'm having an episode/crisis whatever you want to call it.

How the hell do you cope when you're working at the same time as feeling your world is falling/has fallen apart??

I gotta be up at 6.30am tomorrow morning, so I daren't take a lorazepam which would hopefully help my SCREAMING head and the voices/thoughts. If I take the loraz I might not get up in time.

The only reason I give a **** is because I work for my brother & I have to take my niece and nephew to school in the morning, then go to work.

All I want to do tonight is destroy myself.

My head is scReaming - DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY

I look across the room and I see the ********** which I can use to hurt myself with.
I don't know if I should go to the train station or not.
Today I bought large dressings to go over my arms fully.

I don't know what to do.
I don't know where to turn.
I don't know who to trust.

WHO CAN I TRUST?????

Hun, its a horrible horrible feeling hey. When I get like you are I take the prescribed dose of meds and pop myself into bed with a cuppa. Read a book, trawl through the distractions on this site, write some stuff down...anything just to get you through the next few hours, that's all it is. A few hours, then the sun will come up tomorrow - depending where you live of course ;) - and things just might be better. There's no guarantees but we have to believe it and give ourselves a chance.

Take care
Joanie
x

thanks Joanie

I left work early and flaked on the sofa this afternoon.

my head doesn't feel as pressured, but thoughts are still prominent.

will just have to see how it goes.

x

Sorry I only just noticed this now.

I'm glad your head doesn't feel so pressured now.

Take care
xxx

Nice work, just try and look after yourself an hour or so at a time. Some days that's all we can do.

Thinking of you
xx

How are you feeling now? xx

hey,
just got back to this...
things have got worse somewhat.
i haven't been at work so far this week.
got the Crisis Team doc coming to see me this morning.
head isn't screaming as much but is no way i could concentrate on work.

I hope seeing the dr was helpful hun
xxx

You can trust us!Yes life sucks but thats the way it is.Jump around your bedroom with a hairbrush and singing N*Sync songs can do wonders..even at 3 in the morning! xxx

hey,
i just got discharged from hospital this afternoon after spending the past six days there on psych ward. Only got discharged today cos my Dad has flown into town to chaperone me. He is taking me back to France with him to stay there with him and Mum for a bit.
Work will just have to wait.
Life will just have to wait.