The Deer.
 

The night before my wedding at approximately 1130pm (wedding wasn't till 430), I was driving to the store on a state highway, when a buck jumped out and I missed it, the next second a doe hit me.
I pulled over, hit my flashers, and checked the damage. Not too bad, but I just bought the truck a month ago. The deer is still moving, and I have no phone.
So I walked to my house and figured Id just leave the truck there. But Im stressed, so I drink a bottle of wine, open some Vodka and go to town. I feel ok after a couple hours and im not stressed anymore (Im on antidepress/tranquilizers and I SHOULDN'T drink). I walk back to the accident (its about 4-5 miles from my house), and the deer is still alive. Well, I opened my trunk, and finished the job with a claw hammer. Lately that part has been haunting me.

Anyhow, i go to my Father in laws house (just happened to be about 1/4 mile away) tell him what happened, that I dont have my phone, and Im going to go get my insurance papers. When I get there there are 2 squad cars behind my vehicle. I walk up to them willingly, but they see the glazed eyes, difficulty walking, poor motor movement, and assume that I must have driven the car even though the accident was hours prior. I'm arrested, and I lose my friggen mind. I mean I have a total psychotic break down. Punching brick walls, metal doors, bashing my head against the door, laughing hysterically, till I collapse where I wake up in a padded room some time later.

Anyways, my lawyer is confident the owi will be thrown out since I was nowhere near the vehicle, keys were not in the car, and I walked to the car from down the street. They let me out the next day, (500 bond of course), and I made it to my wedding.

I think I should talk to someone however. My mood swings are soo erratic, my tranquilizers keep me stone faced, but I can split in a second. And whats worse is I plan these actions in my head before I even do it.

My anxiety and depression come from a long history that has plagued me my entire life. Im afraid one day just like the change of the weather that I may lose my mind.

talking to someone sounds a good idea, especially if you're on ADs and tranquillisers, they're not really a long term solution

hope you find someone to talk to and stay safe

Yeah i think you should talk to someone. Is it this inicident in particular which is bothering you? Is the incident closed in a legal sense? But yeah I do think you should talk to your doctor and maybe see about counseling.