Why?!
 

I just reached my short term goal. Things are going great. I'm happy.

But why is it that most days, I wake up in the morning and the first thought in my head is wanting to SI?! I don't understand why it still has such a hold on me.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you handle these thoughts after being free for so long?

Please, help...

I don't know how to help, but i know i've felt that way before... i don't think is particularly odd.

*hugs*

It is a very difficult question. I think that addressing the reason you began in the first place is a verygood start into ending these thoughts. Find some way to talk about it, solve it or feel better about it. Otherwise, I wonder if the thoughts lessen the longer you have given up for. I think they will always be with you, it is just learning to deal with them.

Find some way to vent out your emotions be it via writing, sports... etc... That way you will feel calmer and a lower need to self-harm. Just get yourself busy in things and that will distract your thoughts. I can empathize with having it as your first waking thought. I guess that is going to sleep not thinking about it and relaxed.

Take care xx