Just want to break down and cry! *possible trigger*
 

So I haven't been sleeping well this week which usually means something is wrong some where in my family or my life!
I had noticed my brother posted something about not being happy living here with me in this flat on facebook but hadn't said nothing to me!
Today I found out via my mum that he is going to move back home! This I'm ok with really! He is like me and is worried about others before himself! So he was worried about me paying bills and didn't know how to tell me!

But once again leaves me to fend for myself in this flat and not be able to pay for food or have any spare money to myself (unless I'm lucky) as all will be for bills!
Mum has said her and dad will chip in and buy food for me! This I'm not so bothered about! I've gotten used to that now! But still..... besides the point!
What annoys me is the fact I already owe my dad £550 for the deposit on this flat! And I owe my brother £360 for buying this computer for me! I hate myself for this debt even if it is to my family and they ain't so bothered as to when they get it back!
I hate so much that I owe them already as it is and do not want to make it worse! It drives me mad!!!
I don't want just anyone living here with me cus of the things I own! Also I don't know anyone who I could ask anyways! Most people like to party but I need my quiet time as I work in a pub and just want my quiet time when I'm at home! I also need my sleep or my depression gets worse! So finding someone to fit that criteria is difficult in itself! The walls in this place ain't all that thick!
Right now I just want to curl up into a ball crying and hope that I disappear!!!
I just feel that just when everything seems to be going ok for me there comes another dam hurdle! I'm sick of these hurdles! I'm sick of trying to make myself happy!
I am truely starting to believe I'm not meant to be happy!
Why does this ***te always happen to me!?
And before you ask, No I can not pick up hours or get a pay rise in my job because of the company I work for!


Blahhh.... well.... think my rant is over! but hey ho! Wont be long before somethiing else makes me feel this way again!


Just want someone to talk to or someone to curl up with! It's such a beautiful night out too with the full moon and stuff! :ermm:

Well I live in
Somerset in the UK!
I don't really want to quit my life! And people shouldn't ever mean it when they say it!
I just need to let a few things off my chest! I've gotten sick of bad things happening all the time and just want to know what I'm suppose to do to stop them!

Honestly? Bad things will always happen in life whether we like it or not. We just have to plod on and make the best of it.

I agree with the above. You can never be too careful xx

True! But I don't see this site being a problem for that!
I wouldn't just meet some random person! And to be honest it's not different to people going out and getting one night stands! You stand just as much risk plus the fact you are more than likely to catch an STI!
But any whooo....

I'm not going to meet anyone!!
I did that years ago when I had no care for my life!
I do have a little more care these days!!

Besides .. I was just having a rant When I orginally wrote this!!