Want to cut so much
 

im having a crap day, ironically not because im as upset/angry as i sometimes get but because im so empty and numb today, i need to feel something, see the blood and know im real. its the only thing that will help at all.

but im trying really hard not to because i should be going on holiday in a month or 2 and my parents will see and theyll be so upset and disappointed in me.

:-(

Have you heard of the ice cube method? Hold a piece of ice in your hand until it melts, and that might help, cos it hurts a little bit. Or scribble really hard on a piece of paper until your arm starts to ache. That way you wont have any cuts or scars, but you'll still be able to feel and know you're real.
Hope that helps a little bit.

The ice cube methos is a good idea, also flicking an elastic band in your wrist can be helpful too. If you like seeing blood then you might find drawing on yourself in red pen useful, as the red marks can act as an alternative to cuts.

When I feel empty and numb, I find it helpful to be with or near people.
Playing/cuddling with animals also helps me a lot, becuase not only can you see the way they're alive, but also you can smell, hear and feel them which reminds you that you are real.

You're strong enough to get through this without cutting
xx