heda maess
 

cant tyope
mess
falloing
or learning?
learning i thmk
realizing theu truith
scared
want to riun
need to hide
be safe

Hey there. What is the truth you are realizing? I hope you manage to stay safe. We're here for you. *hugs*

hace to eb caredf lwhat i saty
but know its allreal
not psychisis like they say
meds are to make me to me bnot know
think is ol
it ISA real
wh how can waht i sdee hear NOTy be real??
no sense it has to be
it is
og giod want to run nd hide
cant familuy
what if theyu know?
domt thinkl so think aer foled topo
everytring gpoing rounmda nd rounmd flashes
in my facew
in my head
how
juast how
want them out
drill
get them out
bleed out the bad they habe puti nt me

wuoldf the df drill worlk?

dsay meds woulfd makle fgo awa
but that s wat they want ithink
oh not again
wanmt out

I habbve tolearn hat to do
it all ends
dEc 21 / 12
my daiughter bdasy!
not an accidewnt
what do i do/
scared

hey romp, Im sorry that you are so scared, please believe me when I say it isnt real.
Pleaase be safe, please try and be kind to yourself.
Im here of you need to talk.
Kat x

How are you feeling now?
Please don't do anything dangerous.
xx

don't let the thoughts and stress rule you
think back
its not always been like this
constantly
and at least part of you knows that those around you love you
and want to understand
and protect you

bad thoughts aren't on your side and aren't your friends
they have no reason
they exist without purpose
please try to keep away from feeding them energy

remember what we talked about
and how good you can feel about things

against all that's going on inside, the fear and the confusion
i know you are a good person with a beautiful soul
and i don't want horrible stuff to drag you down and away

hey romp, hope your ok, how are you today?

hi are you feeling abit better today? *hugs*

Hope you're feeling better today Romp.

Well..thats embarassing to read, tbh.
I feel..i dont know.
I went in overnight to the TC, the gp agreed i could instead of MH..MH was full so would have been in cells and he knew that would be worse.
So, he's upped the seorquel and added olanzapine, just for a short period..dont like it much, but agree to it.
Just g;lad im home, it was soo full and ppl showing up and leaving.
Too chaotic for me.
He said i could go home as i wasnt suicidal and after talking to him i can almost believe it int real.
I trust him so he asked me to try to trust him on this too.
Im trying.
I feel betrayed bu my own head :\
Im very fuzzy and spacey today, dont klike that.
i dont want to be a zombie.
Anywyas, thanks so very ,much.
Your words/hugs/pm's mean alot.

Big hugs romp, keep strong. "Don't let the bastards get you down" is a good saying here.

You are right, Oly. An awesome saying...that's why i have that as one tat :P
Love you too irene.
*cuddles
Amazing how one good night and a good sleep can make things feel so very different.
Is a good day today. I feel good.
Lots of plans, but not overboard, just ..productive.
Its nice looking around and seeing how good the house looks.
*smiles
xx

Glad you are feelign better today.