Maybe I'm just weak... *kinda ranty*
 

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong thread (I'm never sure as to where I should post) but I could just really use some advice.
I feel quite guilty a lot of the time for "having" depression because I feel like what I really am is just too weak to deal with emotions. I mean, most teenagers are generally supposed to be angsty and sad all the time...so what if I'm really just having some "teenager" phase? What if I just really suck at dealing with normal emotions?
I've had depression for a couple of years and at this point, I can't differentiate between normal sadness and depression because I will be happy for a while, and then break down and not function for a while (which is unfortunately, what's starting to happen again) and I don't know if this is normal for teenagers to feel or if it's my depression. I mean, lots of teenagers get angsty and suicidal...maybe I'm just an angsty teenager who needs to grow up...and it kills me because if that is the truth, than I'm just a really weak person who can't deal with emotions because even angsty teenagers don't end up missing school because they can't sum up the energy to go. Does this mean that I'm just a weak person?
I'm just worried that my depression is not really depression, but teenage angst which would mean that I'm just a weak person who can't deal with emotions
Argh, I'm sorry if none of this makes sense. I can't really put my thoughts out into words but if this does make some sort of sense, any sort of help would be nice :/

sorry that i dont have many words right now but just wanted to let you know I read your post and you are definately not a weak person *cuddles*
sorry that I have nothing useful to say but am thinking of you and hope that others can help

The thing is with depression is that it can, as you're finding, mask 'real' feeling. Depression can, well, press down deeper feelings, which is part of it's function. It can be what happens with emotional overload. Sinking into depression can be a 'cover' for a deep grief that you're feeling emotionally - that can be any kind of loss, for example something like your excitement and happiness, or sadness and pain, not having been sensitively responded to by important people in your life. There can get a point where the mind just 'gives up' hoping and depression can result.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that depression can be part of teenage angst, I know it certainly was for me [and many other people on this site..] When you become a teenager, you're leaving behind your childhood, and there can be many inner conflicts about this - the whole rebellion v. grieving a lost childhood and all that involved for you being one example of such a conflict. You're likely trying to discover your own identity, and if there're intense insecurities there for whatever reason, depression can be a natural and entirely normal result.
In short, depression can be an extension of teenage angst, or teenage angst that's out of sorts in some way or another. Am I making sense?

You're not weak. Sure, depression can be a defence against feeling painful emotions [I know that sounds kind of paradoxical, but psychological defences are like that!] but it's there for a reason. It can be telling you that there's something important you need to listen to inside of yourself.

You can take or leave what I've written here - it may or may not apply to you. But hopefully it can stimulate further thought and perspective on what might be going on for you emotionally right now.