please tell me why
 

wil someone please, please PLEASE tell me why im different? why I dont matter as much? Why I have to go through this pain alone always?
There is obviously something different about me that sets me apart, no one cares when I feel bad, no one would care if I was dead. And dont say family, I mean someone whos chosen and wanted me. There is no one, my friends desert me, im terrified, no one will ever tell me why im different.
Please tell me

You matter - everyone matters. Your post is kind of hard to answer more specifically without knowing anything about you.

Even though you said you don't want to hear this I don't think you should discount your family either - don't their feelings matter? I'm sure it would hurt them, I mean truly hurt them if you died.

Do you have any professionals you talk to about this?

i used to be in the same situation. i think nobody cares if i died. but somehow when i overcome my depression, i think i do have a lot of friends that care bout me..maybe depression made us forgot about all the people around us..forgot about hopes and dreams...made us feel very lonely and empty. think positive..don't focus on your problems and crisis...give yourself a break.

I know you think no one cares hun but it's not true. I care a lot. You can talk to me any time. Sorry I'm not on RYL much at the moment but I'm always willing to listen if you want to talk. I'm sure there are many others here that care too. I really feel bad seeing you go through all this because I was the same a few years back. Please don't think that you're current situation won't change because it will, I am so damn sure of it. I know it feels like you're family are only there because they have to be.........this isn't the case though. If they really thought you were that bad they wouldn't have given you a place to stay when you had nowhere to go. Please stay safe hun, I worry about you.

Nathan xx