yikes, massive drama and i'm NOT SI-ing!
 

ok so yesterday i had my first miscarriage. was only 5 weeks, we only knew for 1 and actually my pessimistic attitude meant i was quite well prepared for this happening.

my husband is far far away with work, and ordinarily this would be the perfect opportunity to do a bit of SI - come on, I've just had a miscarriage - that's a big proper grown up thing!

BUT actually, i'm just sad, and i'm not taking it out on myself.

I am being rational - how weird is that??

i feel quite proud now. maybe i won't tomorrow, and goodness knows my mother is freaking out thinking i'm down here cutting, but i'm not.

It sounds like you are being really responsible! I am so sorry about your miscarriage, it is something that will never be easy and you will get all the sympathy and support you need on various forums/from friends and family. You can and will get through this and it is perfectly NORMAL to be sad. It is not weird to be rational...personally I think the fact you are rational suggests that you have come a long way and are well into recovery.

That is something to be proud of....not feared. Recovery is a wonderful thing. It is still possible to grieve without harming. In fact that is the normal reaction.

At the same time when you have a history of self harm it is also normal for the thoughts to return in times of stress such as now, even if they are not the first reaction. Even if the thoughts do occur then it does not mean you have to act on them. You can move past this. It sounds to me like you are strong and more than able to deal with this tragedy in a healthy manner.

My thoughts are with you x

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage :(. I hope you're still coping ok. It sounds like you responded really calmly, you should be so proud of yourself, situations don't get a lot more stressful than this. remember that you need to look after yourself during this time, give yourself lots of treats xxx