whats wrong with me?
 

So... I had been reading the post on here titled 'am I depressed?' and as I thought, I dont count as depressed cos I don't have the symptoms most of the day, most days. Instead I have the symptoms for part of the day every day or two. I used to have problems coping with stuff, so i'd get suicidal and unable to cope easily and suddenly, but always in reaction to something. I received therapy for this last year, and although im not 100% 'better' im better enough to cope and keep teaching myself to cope better.
But now I keep waking up feeling positive and then later being crippled with suicidal thoughts, depressive feeling and hopelessness, this will last an hour or two then either i'll fall asleep from exhaustion of it or it'll lift slowly. But its really intense and really messing things up...
What is happenning? any ideas?
Beth x

You need to see a doctor, no-one on here can diagnose you or attempt to. Maybe you need some more therapy?

I agree that it would be best to see a doctor, they will be able to help you figure out what's going on :) I'm sorry things are a mess for you at the moment *hugs* x

I was taken to A&E a couple of weeks ago after phoning the crisis team when I was feeling suicidal. The psych I saw (after 4 hrs by which time I'd fallen asleep!) said he thought I'd be ok on my own and didn't even refer me to CMHT. I saw my Dr this week (although as i've just moved it was a new Dr) and she said she can refer me if I want.
Anyways I know you can't diagnose but they won't and I'd really like to know if anyone else has had the same thing or any vague ideas what it could be...
Because they won't tell me they are being really vague... it doesn't count as anything if I dont have the symptoms all the time. Please help.

suicidal thoughts need to have help
suicidal thoughts shouldnt be a part of your day at all.
what makes you think you are not suffereing from depression

Because to have depression you are supposed to have the symptoms all the time... or at least most of the time. Whereas im quite positive usually.

in between your bouts of depression how are you feeling?
how is appetite and sleeping?
there could be slight depression that isnt occuring all day most days

yeh but it's not depression if you don't have the symptoms all the time! The dr. just says I havent got depression.
Also im eating normal and sleeping pretty normal apart from obviously sleeping more due to getting sleepy after being very upset.
And it's really really intense when it happens, it just happens in little episodes rathet than all the time. Its almost like being two people