I blew it big time-Potentially triggering
 

I took a large overdose of tablets (won't say how many).
A lot of stuff about my self harm came out to my parents and they are very upset with me. I have a strong urge to buy a one way ticket to the top of Scotland (from Wiltshire) as I can't bear how things are now and feel depressed.
Has anyone got any advice for getting through this time without doing anything that stupid.
This was all after 13 days no S.I.

do you need to see a doctor? i suggest you seek some medical advice if you have taken a large amount of pills.

Hey. Sorry to hear you have done this. Please will you remove the med that you took as it isn't allowed and is triggering. As Raven said, you should get medically checked to ensure that you aren't risking permanent organ damage, etc.

I have pr'd this so that the mods can move it into the vets support board.

x

I did go in and out of the Hospital, but mercifully didn't need any treatment.

Glad to hear you are ok.

Do you have any support from outside your family re your self harm and feelings of low mood?

Hello,

I wonder how you are feeling now and if the hospital offered you any form of support?

It's natural for parents to be a little shocked and upset when they find out that a loved one is hurting themselves and I wonder if you could go and speak to them about how you are feeling now? I do know some parents are brilliant with dealing with this sort of things and others are rubbish but there is no harm in asking.

Take care

Camilla

I managed not to give into those urges to run away. I realised by about 11 last night that it would solve nothing and cause a lot of unnecesary worry for my parents.
I still feel a bit distressed but less so than last night. My appointment with mental health team is now next Weds. instead of 3 weeks' time.

I'm glad they have moved your appointment hunny as it sounds that you do need some help and support from mental health team.
Parents are mostly shocked when they find out thing's about there children they didn't know was going on and upset at themselves, there not upset at you it just seem's like there are.
I'm glad your ok from the OD.
If here if you wanna chat anytime.
Hugs
Dani
xoxox

We're all here to support you. Take care.

if you are determined to stop then this is just a hiccup, a bump in the road that can be smoothed by solving or learning to live with your issues.

when you are recovering you don't fail because something happened, you look into why it happened, usually either a lack of support or coping strategies or a new strategy is being tested and as time goes by will get stronger. You have slip ups, but you learn to look at them as just that.

I personally used poetry writing as a way out of urges, I'd be happy to let you have a look if you want - pm me. It was a way of releasing tension and sometimes i wrote in red pen to symbolise 'seeing' something red as that was a huge part of my harming.

Distractions are good, online games are a godsend at times.
mand x

If I make it to tonight without self harming, that will be a week. If I make i to Thursday, I can go and stay with my brother in Cardiff for the night. If I don't, I stay with my parents. I'm seeing the mental health assessment team and the doc. tomorrow. I'm off for a bike ride, then will do some job hunting, once I've got some endorphins in my system.

Well done! It sounds as though you are really fighting this and making positive steps. Thinking of you and hope you manage to get to a week and then til Thurs.

That's a really great plan, keep moving forward, you can do this.

Well, I made it to Thursday then onto Saturday evening w/ out doing anything. Friday was stressful. i went cycling round Wales after seeing my brother, but accidentally found my planned route was 83 not 66 miles! In addition the Taff Trail from Merthyr down to Cardiff was atrocious with very narrow gates, having to stop all the time, steps in the middle of the route, etc, so I couldn't get on a train home until 9.30. This wasn't even direct, so I got home at midnight. In addition, some chav cheated at a roundabout, trying to knock me off. I yelled a 100dB profanity at him.
I ate a certain posionous plant on Saturday. I then had to tell my parents (2 hours later) and spent yet another night in A&E. I then almost killed myself again today. I was cycling towards a dangerously steep downhill, but pulled over at the last second into a car park and rang the crisis team.
My parents are angry with me all the time and I feel ashamed of what I'm putting them through. I put the phone down when I was speaking to the Samaritans just before the self poisoning because I thought they were listening in. They want me to talk to them and only them, but their sometimes being distant, hitting me when I was younger and getting me to diet as a child when I didn't need to have significantly contributed to my being depressed.
The problem is I have a degree of Munchausen too- I'm being to get an addiction to the medical attention I'm getting, but one part of me wants to just be happy and free from it all and be able to go years without seeing the inside of another doctor's surgery or hospital.
Not wanting to upset my brothers kept me alive today and on Saturday. I'm on something to help me sleep now too.

any kind of attention - especially positive can be craved when you have had a damaged upbringing. don't try to self diagnose, you can be to hard on yourself.

do you have regular sessions with a therapist or counsellor? CBT may be beneficial as it looks at how your thoughts affect what you do, and how to be more positive and less hard on yourself.

mand x

Okay for all you worying, I haven't self harmed for 26 hours now. I feel more stable. I was able to resist an urge this morning. I've got my front light on my bike sorted, so I can go out and release some endorphins if I'm feeling terrible between 9pm and 5am.
I am getting some CBT and counselling, though it may take some time. The waiting lists are horrendous. Thankfully, my parents are less angry today, though my mum had a bit of a go at me last night.

you could try phoning the place where you are due to be seen and asking if they ave any student therapists. my husband managed to get a cancellation for his assessment (2 weeks instead of 12) and then saw a student therapist alongside her mentor straightaway. when the student finished her time there, he continued seeing her mentor. mand x