Hi everyone - hugs to you all.
Scared of saying this but I am feeling Ok and fairly positive at the moment. I'm scared of saying it because everytime I feel better the knock down after it comes twice as hard. Also I think if I don't come on here and say Help - then people might think I don't need chatting to as I am not asking for advice - but just to clear that up I do - I really want to stay feeling like this and know that if I did I would be a lot more help to others, So if you feel like saying Hi, sending a hug or chatting I'd love it. I'm here for you all too. xxx

Hi Katch, I won't be here long, am just checking in on everyone and especially looking for an update on my 17 year old friend. I'll be checking every hour or so. But then I don't know when you like to sleep. Like Ally said, tiresome time zone difference. I'm in the same time zone that she is, Pacific.

That said, I will be checking in every so often, likely every hour, including the psych ward while I'm here. So it isn't a chat but maybe it will help. Sorry I can't do better than that. I want to finish sewing two shirts for a client, He works odd hours and hubby and I leave for holiday next Saturday so I want time to make an appointment so he can pick them up. Travel money, yay. I'll be in and out, in more in my evening, lessee, 6pm+8 hours is 2am. Snort. Sorry I can't do more.

Hello Katch, I'm happy to chat :) What have you been up to today? x

been making loads of cups of tea for the men that are helping to sort out some of my dads belongings - exciting life eh!!! how about you?

Katch, if you wanna talk you know I'm here with everybody else :) Have you taken my advice btw?

Wow....:blink: I've been away not even a day but its like....years in here...
how is everyone *huggles*

Wow, that is exciting...well, not really. Mine hasn't been much better lol. I've been tidying my room and working on an assignment for uni. Have smoothed things over with one of my flatmates, Enny, after an explosive argument a couple of weeks ago so had a long catch up too :)

Feeling fairly despondant atm tbh. I just wonder if I ever will get better or if I'm doomed to spend my life on an emotional rollercoaster :(

You'll get better Carole....it just takes time m'dear ^_^
but we are here for you all the way :D

huggles you baclk - and everyone else.

Hells - sorry I couldn't I really don't have any proof and it would just be my word - if anything else happens I will try and get the proof and then I will. I really hope I am wrong - but my intuition is usually pretty in tune and I'm worried that I'm not. (Sorry everyone else I know that doesn't mean anything to you)

You know me I love chatting - it's wierd though as it feels like I shouldn't be coz I don't want to hurt myself - I want to put part 2 of my story in soon as well - must be feeling strong...

If you want to hun...then go for it :)
If not...theres always another time :)
*hugs you*

Cheers Alexx - how are you?

sorry you are feeling despondent Carole - it will get better - good days - bad days - but one day there will be more good days than bad ones!!

I was just impressed with myself today as I only got all choked up once whilst getting rid of my dads stuff - it really has been so hard seeing his belongings going bit by bit - I still can't beleive he's dead and not coming back again - but I feel as if I am managing to keep my feelings under a bit more of control.

Hells - hope you are not annoyed with me about the other thing - I was just worried of doing the wrong thing xx

Thanks. It just feels as if I have been left to get worse by the mental health service...

How are you all?

*drags out a box of toys, games and food for people to rummage through*

It sounds as if you are coping well, Katch :) *hugs*

Carole, hope you're feeling better luv *hugs* Pow-wow is a Native American thing. It's the one time a year I get to put on my indian cloths and dance. I love it. But these damn meds... Possible side effect is increased sweating (I know, gross) and I already get way hot when I dance. I'm disgusting atm:blink:

Helen, you've had quite an eventful day. Glad to hear you're doing alright none the less.

*hugs everyone*

Sorry I've got to get back out there before my mom comes to find me.

Katch, I'm not annoyed. I still thik you should least mention it but never mind.

Alex, *cuddles*

*cuddles Carole too* Yaaaay games, anyone wanna be childish and play with me :P

I don't feel like I'm alright. I feel quite **** right now. I feel like crying. I feel....I feel....I dont wanna see him tomorrow still. Dunno what to do :( Casualty kinda scarying me but I'm still hooked to it lol. (Tis a tv show for you americans :P)

I haven't been - I had a huge slip up the other day, so I decided to take myslef off for a few days and I do feel a bit better for it. I worry a bit though coz I know I am really bad about speaking about things and sorting my feelings - ever since I can remember I have always just shut them away and not dealt with any of them - not good! they have to come out at some point - and when they do I always hurt myself - I haven't really grieved for my dad - or my past - that's why I am trying to chat today - not necesarily about him or my past - but just chat instead of going quiet like I normally do - hope no-one minds.

BTW I am more than happy to listen to any of you. xxxx

[quote=Hells;769023]
I don't feel like I'm alright. I feel quite **** right now. I feel like crying. I feel....I feel....I dont wanna see him tomorrow still. Dunno what to do /quote]

Hells - what have you got to lose by seeing him tomorrow? it's worth giving it another go and seeing how it goes - what time will you see him - then I can send my strentgh waves right to you when you need them most :jumpin:

I know I haven't got to lose anything. But I really can't deal with seeing him, pathetic I know :sad: I dunno what time I'm seeing him.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMEEEESSSSS :D

Im fine thanks Katch....feeling better than last night...marginlly anyway...
although...i have a bump on my head...dunno how i got it...
and ive had waaay too many panic attacks today :bllink:
and i have to go get my blood test results on wednesday :x

Sorry - I didn't mean to make it sound as though it was easy - I know it's not - and it's certainly not pathetic.

That bump on your head......maybe your brain has grown during the night -:rollfloor: Hope it doesn't hurt. Sorry about your panic attacks hun- How do you feel about your blood tests?