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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 27-11-2009 01:45 PM

Of course you can sweet *cuddles you*

*goes around cuddling everyone else*

I finally had a good night's sleep and feeling much better than I have all week and since yesterday (was in extreme pain >.<) but I still pants too. Hurrrrrray (Y)

Got to love being told there's nothing's wrong when you continually feel low for months and months and months on end :D

realflifefaerie 27-11-2009 01:47 PM

Thank-you *cuddles back*

I envy your good night's sleep!

Silly doctors *shakes head*

MammaMia 27-11-2009 02:07 PM

You're welcome for the cuddle :) Ah I'm sure I'll be envying it before long haha :P Silly docotors/mental health professionals etc indeed. :D

signingchild 27-11-2009 03:37 PM

yeah, i wish they would just listened and try to understand. but i don't think that'll happen. ((hugs to mamma, faerie and everybody))

Kahlia1981 29-11-2009 12:46 PM

*hugs everyone*

Still waking to find knives beside me ... Am going to tell my GP about it when I see him tomorrow morning and my tdoc when I see him on Friday. Still having bucketloads of anxiety every time I have to leave the house but on the outside at least I'm appearing calm. *sighs*

SoMuchMore 29-11-2009 04:41 PM

*hugs kahlia* So sorry that you are anxious and that is really scary about the knives. I'm glad that you are planning on telling your doctors. Hopefully they can help.

I'm finally back at my university after a very very stressful break. It's just so loud at my house in my hometown and I can't be me there. I have to pretend to be super happy in front of my family b/c I don't want to deal with their reactions to anything... Too bad I have to go back there in 3 weeks for winter break... *sigh*...

Kahlia1981 30-11-2009 05:15 AM

*hugs Laura back*. Sorry to hear that home is so stressful. It's so difficult when you have to act all the time.

*hugs everyone*

signingchild 01-12-2009 09:33 PM

school is done and i can come back here a curl up in my corner. i really like it here. ((curls up with her blankie possible naptime))

Kahlia1981 03-12-2009 10:02 AM

*walks in, hugs everyone then disappears into a corner*

Me and my housemate went to the christmas party for my disability employment network provider. We rode our bikes there and my housemate ended up being taken away in an ambulance with chest pains. Fingers crossed that he's alright.

While I was there on my own, I met up with an old friend. That was the best part.

It's been a long day...

MammaMia 03-12-2009 12:29 PM

*hugs everyone lots*

Kahlia1981 03-12-2009 12:49 PM

*hugs everybody then goes and hides in a corner*

SoMuchMore 03-12-2009 09:44 PM

My uncle died early this morning...
He'd been sick for quite awhile so it wasn't unexpected.
I hate funerals (I feel completely selfish for hating them)

signingchild 03-12-2009 11:58 PM

((hug everyone))
i'm sorry about ur uncle. i hate going to funerals too. i especially hate looking at the bodies in the casket. i don't why. my mom and i talked already and i told her i wanna b cremated. so no scary people looking at my corpse.

MammaMia 04-12-2009 01:02 AM

(hugs everyone)

Had the worst shift ever at work, ending up crying for ages, going to bed now :(

Kahlia1981 04-12-2009 01:54 AM

*hugs Laura* - I know what you mean about funerals. I hate singing at them...

*hugs Helen* - Sorry to hear about the shift at work.

*hugs signing child* - sorry I don't know your name.

*hugs everyone*

...Vanessa... 04-12-2009 03:24 AM

*Walks in tentatively...bites lip*
Hi guys...I know I'm not a veteran...but can I come in for awhile?

SoMuchMore 04-12-2009 04:27 AM

*hugs everyone*
vanessa - of course u can come in...

So now I'm not going to the funeral, apparently it would be too stressful for my family to have to come get me from my university. its okay though, Im not upset, i feel like I should be... but I am kinda relieved... Am i horrible?

...Vanessa... 04-12-2009 04:34 AM


*hugs Laura*

You are not horrible! Funerals are hard!

*makes a huge pile of pillows and blankets...dives inside and hides for a bit*

signingchild 04-12-2009 05:27 AM

i'm sarah. it's cool.

((hugs Vanessa, kahlia, and everyone else))

what's going on Vanessa? anything we can help with?
//snuggling up in blankets w a stuffed doggy

MammaMia 04-12-2009 02:06 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Feeling back to my positive self today..been feeling bit positive because of work. Although yesterday was not that way at all. But it's back :D Last shift for 3 days woop :)

Kahlia1981 04-12-2009 02:08 PM

*hugs Vanessa* Hey come on in. We're here if you want to talk about what's going on.
*hugs Laura* No you aren't horrible hon. We all grieve in our own way and in out own time. Funerals are usually times of closure but we are still all individual. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself time. (hard to do while studying I know)
*hugs Sarah* How are you going?
*hugs everyone*

I had a pretty bad session with my psychologist today. He went into the stuff I never talk about and then he said he wanted to involve my mum and housemate - like ring them up and invite them to sessions and stuff. I told him no but he wants me to give him reasons and I don't think "because I said no" or "I just don't want them involved" would work. I'm at the point where I'm ready to walk away from seeing him altogether...

*sighs then walks over to an empty corner and cuddles up to a teddy bear*

...Vanessa... 04-12-2009 02:31 PM

Just feeling really down. I recently hit the four year free mark for cutting. But instead of celebrating I just want to cry. For the last two months cutting is all I think about. Nothing has really changed, nothing to make me think like this. It is so unbelieveably discouraging. I'm trying so hard to get past this...I'm trying to believe that if I can just make it a little longer the thoughts will go away. Part of me just wants to do it and say it was a slip up, but I know it woulldn't just be a slip up. If I start again it will continue. I just want to have a good cry, but the tears wont come.

...Vanessa... 04-12-2009 02:35 PM

*hugs Kahlia*

I'm sorry about your session. I had a counselor that would bring my dad in for the last 15 minutes of our session and basically tell him everything I had said. I hated it, made me not want to talk. If you stopped seeing him would you see someone else? How long have you been seeing him?

Kahlia1981 04-12-2009 03:39 PM

*hugs Vanessa back* I've only been seeing him for just over a month now and if I stopped seeing him I'd have to go through the whole rigmarole of finding someone acceptable (from my GP's point of view) and getting a referral. *sigh* I don't know anymore ... I really don't.

*hugs everyone then curls up in her corner*

one_step_closer 04-12-2009 04:42 PM

*calls for a nurse* I wish I was still in hospital.

Imaginary_friend 04-12-2009 07:33 PM

hi guys....
*curls up under a duvet and cries*

signingchild 04-12-2009 08:39 PM

((hugs everybody)) i'm so sorry people are feeling bad today ((passes around the tissues)) i'm really sorry about ur therapist Kahlia, he shouldn't try and force you to do anything you rn't ready for.
Vanessa that is amazing what u've done. i really admire that.
how long were u in the hospital, imaginary?

((continuing sitting in the corner trying to figure out what i can do))

Imaginary_friend 04-12-2009 08:50 PM

thanks signingchild :) i've never actually been, just sometimes feel like it would be the best place for me for a while.

signingchild 04-12-2009 10:34 PM

there is no shame in going to the hospital. i don't know if ur doctor is supposed to recommend it or whatever. but maybe you think about. i have a friend who got a lot of help at one

Imaginary_friend 04-12-2009 11:19 PM

i havent been to the docs in aaaages. i'm not on any meds or anything atm although i have been before. i just sometimes get in a frame of mind where i think i ought to be sectioned or something...it's scary. :(
*cuddles my squishy elephant and climbs back under the duvet*

signingchild 04-12-2009 11:36 PM

u don't need to hide. i've been to lots of doctors and hated most of themi think i'm supposed to be taking meds, but i have ADD and i'm weird. so the add makes drugs pretty much work the opposite way so i would need to take uppers 4 the add and downers for deppression and then i just get all outta wack. so i don't mess w it.

Imaginary_friend 04-12-2009 11:41 PM

:( that sounds pretty rubbish ((hugs)) i don't wanna go back on meds but if i keep feeling like this then i'll need to. i'm hoping it's just stress with a load of stuff thats going on at the moment and that it'll calm down once i get it all sorted. but **** knows when that'll be.....:(

Kahlia1981 05-12-2009 12:10 PM

*hugs everyone*

signingchild 07-12-2009 05:56 AM

((hugs everyone and Kahlia)) how's it going?

Kahlia1981 07-12-2009 08:40 AM

*hugs Sarah*
*hugs everyone*

I'm not doing too brilliantly at the moment... am going thorugh a really bad patch. I can feel all the certainty draining out of the world. My spiral is definitely going downwards . . .

Imaginary_friend 07-12-2009 09:28 AM

*hugs everyone*
I know how you feel Kahlia.....exactly how you feel....

Scarletdreamer 08-12-2009 11:13 PM

*peeks in*

*hides in the corner with a fleece blanket and her kitten*

Today's been a bad day, mind if I hide out here for awhile?

Btw, name's April. Haven't been around in awhile. :-)

Kahlia1981 09-12-2009 05:21 AM

*hugs all*

I'm slipping into a dangerous situation. My housemate was evicted from our share house because of having a psychotic episode. It's only a matter of time before I slip into a psychotic episode of my own and I'm terrified that I'm going to be evicted when it happens. That really doesn't help my current mood. I'm so depressed now that I don't know what to do.

*sighs and finds a dark corner to curl up in and cry*

Scarletdreamer 09-12-2009 01:49 PM

Aww *hugs* I'm so sorry about that situation. Are you on meds that help with the psychoses? (I know that they don't always help, in fact was on Seroquel and it MADE me psychotic, but they can help) Sorry, you might've posted that elsewhere and I just didn't see it. Wish I could help more but I'm in a rubbishy position myself. :-(

And btw, I love your sig. Within Temptation rocks my world. :-D

Kahlia1981 10-12-2009 02:12 AM

*hugs April back* Yeah I'm on Seroqul XR and it helps, but my dosage isn't right yet. I've had a similar experience when the hospital pdocs put me on Haloperidol and I spent two weeks in psychotic hell. Oh, and I love Within Temptation and it's nice to meet someone else who knows about them - and openly admits the fact lol.

*hugs everyone*

I actually starting crying just before. Right now I just want to disappear. I don't want anyone to know just how much I am hurting. I want everyone IRL to forget that I ever existed. *sigh*

Scarletdreamer 10-12-2009 09:59 AM

Aw Kahlia... I wish I could help more, as I said before. I'm sure that people IRL don't wish that for you, and I'm also sure that people here don't wish that, either. I know I don't. Within Temptation fans are not that common here in the US so the only WT lovers I know are via online. And I don't want to lose you now that I've found you!! (Sorry, I know that that was cheesy, but it's true... you deserve the love and support that I and everyone else here is capable of giving. *hugs*)

But don't get me wrong... I understand wanting to disappear. Do I ever. I hate my life and openly state that to my husband and various close friends, as well as my treatment team. They say I'm getting better, but veeeery slowly (like a slug, my therapist [abbreviated as "T"]... and then she apologized, while I laughed). My husband is getting frustrated with me for not getting better faster.

But anyway...

I do hope that you feel better soon. How is your day going so far? Well, I guess it's evening for you now, right? It's only 5am here... I hate getting up so early but it's like I can't sleep after a certain time.

*hugs everyone*

SoMuchMore 10-12-2009 03:22 PM

*hugs everyone*

chocostashchick 10-12-2009 06:43 PM

xxxooo to everybody
the Virtual Psych Ward is very possibly my most favorite place on RYL i think
and in case anybody didn't know there is a magical Denial Tent here where the real world is pretend and everything else is real and it's lovely and you'll love it you just will it's fabulous
signingchild thank you for posting about your adhd and the meds interfering with your other psych rx's - i had no idea about this and i have adhd and take an rx for it but no other med i have ever been on has had any thereapeutic results! i only get the crappy unwanted side effects! i have no idea if it's due to what you were talking about but at least now i can tell myself it's not necessarily because i am cursed with unluckyness and should perhaps stop wasting time on my quest to hunt leprechauns and exploit their lucky powers for my own exclusive personal benefit
Kahlia i can relate about crappy hospital docs - it's especially bad when they're crap because if there is any time you really might need a GOOD or at least DECENT doc it's in hosp. humans make mistakes and docs are no exception but in that particular profession it's especially unfortunate, isn't it? it's partly why i sometimes wonder if i really AM cursed, because pretty much every doc and nurse i encountered in hosp, despite my hoping and giving them all the benefit of the doubt, thinking i must be crazy and wrong and unfairly judging them since they are the trained professionals after all, were complete and total crap.
i possibly have a paper bag over my head and have never heard of Within Temptation and must google them and find them on iTunes immediately so as to not be weird loser person

Scarletdreamer 10-12-2009 10:11 PM

Lol, Within Temptation is a Dutch band, very good, female-fronted "rock" (I guess? I'm not sure what label to put on them). I found out about them from a good friend from the UK, and have been in love ever since. Go on YouTube and search for Within Temptation "Memories" - the best music video EVER!! (in my humble opinion, haha)

Mmm, time for supper. Bruschetta pizza and garlic bread knots. A bit of a "binge" considering my new exercise and diet plan, but it's a celebratory thing for the end of the semester. :)

whispering girl 10-12-2009 11:23 PM

*hides from failing calc. and awaiting finals in a pillow fort*

chocostashchick 10-12-2009 11:47 PM

oh i like Within Temptation and i have actually heard them before, even here in USA! just hadn't known their name apparently.
ps there are no failing grades or calculus in the denial tent!
shudder i was rubbish at calculus and whatever tiny bit of calculus knowledge my brain has i magically pass onto you. (most likely this is nothing, but it's the thought that counts.)

Scarletdreamer 11-12-2009 06:43 AM

Aww *hugs Whispering* I hate calc too, *shudders* but you're in the denial tent, no failing here. Hope you do better... we're here for you!! :)

Gahh I'm up and awake and it's 1:40am... don't wanna be awake this early!! I have some silly little YA books that I can read if I feel like it... easy reading so it shouldn't take too much concentration, and I can get on WoW if I feel like it... but I would rather be sleeping!!! :(

Bloodwork tomorrow morning and I am as thirsty as HELL but can't drink anything but water, and our water tastes like CRAP... all sulfur-y etc. :( My mouth is dry and sticky and I hate feeling like that... would love some hot cider or hot chocolate but can't... ugh. Anyway, enough whining, lol.

Wish I had a nurse or someone to talk with in this virtual psych ward... when I was in hos, those many times, there was ALWAYS someone to chat with. Oh well. I'm glad you all are getting your sleep. :)


SoMuchMore 11-12-2009 06:43 AM

so its December 11... 1 year since my last real attempt. I wish i was happier about that then i am, but its not like much has changed, I just don't OD as much... which i guess is good. right? of course it is... i think. But anyway, I hope everyone is doing alright.

chocostashchick 11-12-2009 07:30 AM

Laura it isn't a good thing it's a great thing and it doing it takes a lot of brave strength and that is super impressive so Yay Laura and you should totally celebrate that you did that for a whole year like buy yourself presents maybe and get confetti! confetti always makes it a celebration i mean when do you see confetti and not think YAY PARTY

Kahlia1981 11-12-2009 08:18 AM

*hugs all*

Sorry no individual replies, just know that I have read everyone's posts and am thinking of you all.

This morning I sold my gold engagement and wedding rings, did some banking, got my navel pierced and met up with my friend (used to be my housemate) for coffee. I enjoyed the coffee and chat. It was something "normal" in these turbulent times. My friend has to go off to an appointment so I did a little light shopping (groceries only unfortunately) and cycled home. While I was with my friend, he said that I sounded like I had swallowed a cryptic crossword. In a way I was trying to prepare him for my disappearing-without-telling-anyone-where-I-was-going because that's still what I would dearly love to do. But... yeah... I don't know. *sigh* My head is all twisted right now.

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