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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

blondiebear 04-05-2008 12:30 AM

Is Casualty a show about a hospital?

My new glasses have been ordered. Hopefully they will be here in two weeks. We have just scheduled our vacation/holiday, we are leaving Memorial Day weekend and planning to go to New Mexico and look for and photograph ghost towns for two weeks.

My hands are shaking today so the shirt i need to take in for a client will have to wait until tomorrow or Monday.

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 12:39 AM


Originally Posted by blondiebear (Post 737640)
Is Casualty a show about a hospital?

Yes it is :)

MammaMia 04-05-2008 12:55 AM


Originally Posted by Katey-lou (Post 737634)
it does show that yeah, its not summit (as we all kno) that just goes away once we've maybe tried it one. its summit that come back again and again. and isnt always impulsive either it can be planned and we can look to other people like we are feeling fine. i know i've done that so many times (and then later been called manipulative by many people, mainly hospital staff!!!!!) yet inside its a completely different story.

It really does show that. I'm sorry to hear you've been called manipulative (I have aswell....but over the internet hmmm).

My god. I'm slowly spacing out. I want to die. I don't want to die. I want to leave the earth. I don't want to hurt people. WTF do I want? Confused. Confused. Confused. Flashbacks. Bad memories. I want more good memories. But I want to be dead even tho i don't. I'm not making much sense am I?

:( Sorry

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 01:00 AM

I'm...just confused...
everything is confusing me...
why is he talking to me...what does he REALLY want...because it isnt my "stunning" good looks or personality...
why are you all putting up with me...
Why does my dad makes sucj cruel jokes and jibes...
why do they treat me like im 7 instead of 17...
why am i bothering...
why do i want to carry on fighting...

*retreats to a dark, dusty, abandoned corner of the denial tent to be out of the way*

MammaMia 04-05-2008 01:04 AM

*sits and snuggles with Ally*

I love you sweetheart. Don't let anyone bring you down okay??? We CAN and WILL get through this. I promise you that. It's a hard long jounrey at times...but we'll have each other and everyone else in here....*squezes*

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 01:05 AM

VBCN\GIKR H8OMYGTRLJUVBGYNJKJFDLNHTVUP06NH7IOUKLXZDFq!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sorry about caps)

MammaMia 04-05-2008 01:10 AM

It's okay Carole, want to talk? *hugs you lots*

Btw I need to re-add you back on msn...x

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 01:18 AM

Helen - How are you holding up atm?

I dont know what one thing is wrong. It's all a mess and at the same time it isn't. I hate it because I feel like such a pathetic moaner. I have a loving bf - I love him too in my own weird fashion. I'm away from my family. Yes, I am lonely but apparently that isn't anything to be suprised at because I am alone. All I really have (to talk about anything that gets me down) is my bf and this site.

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 01:24 AM

In actual truth I feel fat and covered in scars.
I'm working on the scars but the fat is another matter. I tell myself I will but nothing ever comes of it.

MammaMia 04-05-2008 01:37 AM

Just added you back on msn :)

I'm glad we're here for you hun. I'm sure you're not fat sweetie xxx

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 01:39 AM

carole...is your surname carter?:)
can i add you too?
and you really ARE NOT fat hun!!!

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 01:51 AM

yea, that is my surname and of course you can add me :)

The sad thing is...I am fat. I've never been heavier and I have a chubby tummy which I try to hide whenever I can. I have stretch marks on the back of my thighs and (I think) on the sides of my breasts.

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 02:04 AM

hehe thats my surname toooo :P

Ick...I have stretch marks...but you can get rid of them...but your boyfriend loves you just as you are...so why worry hun?
I know its hard....but trust me?

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 02:19 AM

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this but it isn't that he judges me - it's that I judge me. He doesn't think I'm fat - he thinks I'm scrummy and (aside from the scars) have the perfect figure. He would be over the moon if I kept my figure and lessened the appearence of the scars. Truly. It's just me that isn't happy with it.
Admittedly my family don't help. They commented in November, at Christmas, in January, in March and last month that I had put weight on and not lost any.

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 02:25 AM

ouch :/
tbh...i think its the media portraying stupidly thin girls...and my family does that too so i fully sympathise with you. but maybe...try looking for things you DO like....and focus on them...rather than the negatives?

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 02:31 AM

I agree with you there. And it is very much a cultural thing because I know for certain that in parts of Africa fuller figures are favoured over the skinnier figured women.
I am a lot better than before - at one point there wasn't a single part of my body that I liked. Now, I will admit that parts of me are found to be attractive by others. It's nothing fantastic, but it's a step I guess.

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 02:41 AM

I think i need stitches gain but have feeling wqpnt be ennough. N ever enough, wide but not enough. never enough. it's not ok. will never be ok. ever. could cut off arm and would never be enough. ****.

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 03:04 AM

Baby steps Carole...thats the best way...:)

you ok Emma :(

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 03:20 AM

Nope, not ok. Sat here with a stupidly wide cut, measuring it. It needs a+e for stitching but I just want to keep hacking. Why is this not ok?

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 04:22 AM

Right, have had enough for sure, Why do I not have the strength to end this? Why do I keep holding on to the fact that at one point I had so many hopes and dreams? I was *that girl*. the smart, happy and funny one* who had everything at her feet and gradually let it all slide away. Scholarships, friends, money, loving grand parents etc etc. All gone. Because of what? My need to self destruct? My mothers need to destruct? My Dad's need to have everything ok, hence denying all thats not ok? My Grandparensts ability to ignore the blatent obvious? My friends progressing whilsgt I stay the same??? Who knows! Things are not ok and I have had enough. I am scared.

effervescence 04-05-2008 09:43 AM

hey guys.

emma, how are you now honey? please go to a +e and get that stitched up. i know you dont want to but this isn't the answer hun. things are not ok but you need to work at it with support and eventually things will start to be ok and then you'll be glad u worked through it and u can start to enjoy the great things in life, cos there ARE great things, i am sure of it.
please get that cut looked at emma

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 09:55 AM

Thanks Chloe *hugs* How are you doing? x Just wanted to say sorry if I triggered anyone by putting in widths, was very drunk (still a little drunk tbh) but I've removed them now. Don't even remember making the last post :\ hmmm.

effervescence 04-05-2008 09:56 AM

meh, i'm not great. just made a new thread if you're interested.
take care xxx

dark_light 04-05-2008 10:29 AM

Hey everyone
Emma how are you? did you get to a&e, sounds like you could do with some help maybe seing someone there would be helpful this time. I know that place where you just want to keep cutting but thats when you need to step back and go for help i think *big hugs emma*

Chloe i haven't read your post, my internets a bit hit and miss, but hope you are ok and big hugs for you too

i'm v tired so gonna curl up here and sleep a while xxxxx

effervescence 04-05-2008 11:54 AM

hey jo. sleep sounds like a good idea :) night night

MammaMia 04-05-2008 01:18 PM


I feel better again. But the question of "how long will it last" is stuck in my mind. ****. Ah well.

*hugs everyone lots and lots*

blondiebear 04-05-2008 03:16 PM

Hello. I'm 8 hours behind you in the UK so I've been up just for an hour. Right now it is early morning cold. I may have to give up and turn on the heater for a bit.

Yesterday while we were out we saw that the last of the wildflowers are fading and drying up. Spring is almost over.

I am fat, let's not discuss bmi. But I still have an okay if plain face, great hair and well shaped legs even if they are big.

I did not get any housework done yesterday and my hands were shaking too much to work. So we'll see what today is like, but I do need to get that one shirt taken in so I can return it to the client when I see him on Tuesday.

Sugar and Spice 04-05-2008 05:10 PM

*bug hugs for everyone* Hope you are all ok and keeping safe.

All I have to say is this: Inexplicable Turmoil.

MammaMia 04-05-2008 05:10 PM

I love spending time with my mum ^_^

Finally managed to get her to look through the photos and stuff...we're in the proccess of putting some in album but mum wants to sort those ones out now LOL!

*sigh* Must be hard looking a photos of my dad tho :(

blondiebear 04-05-2008 07:11 PM

Helplessness is the word for me right now. My husband has had the tv on all morning and not only do I find it distracting, the noise assaults my ears and my psyche.
I love the guy but I really want to scream at him to turn it off.

effervescence 04-05-2008 10:11 PM

i skipped a lecture this morning to start my psychology but just slept in instead. whoops....

lil-princess 04-05-2008 10:27 PM

Heya everyone, how ya all doing?

I thought i'd pop in not staying online for long tho as i'm in floods of tears yet again and can hardly see the computer screen :(

*hugs all round*

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 10:31 PM

Who's in?
I just need hugs....not quizzes and questions...just comfort...
Is Emma here?:-(

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 11:01 PM

*sends Alexx big gentle hugs*

MammaMia 04-05-2008 11:02 PM

I'm here too.

*massive hugs*

Katch 04-05-2008 11:07 PM

is it OK to come in if you don't know anyone here?

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 11:12 PM

yeah sure *hugs*, make yourself comfortable we don't bite :)

Are you alright?

Pomegranate 04-05-2008 11:13 PM

I don't know why I ****ing bother. Like a good little girl I called the crisis team because thoughts of ODing and cutting were getting a little too strong and apparently they are too busy to speak to me right now. Well great. Hello? WTF is the point of a crisis team if they don't talk to you?

Katch 04-05-2008 11:19 PM

I'm OK - not good at talking but need to escape from the room that I'm sitting in for a while.
Sorry the crisis team don't have time to speak to you - that's really crap - surely the whole point of them is to be available- at least people in here have time and understand

MammaMia 04-05-2008 11:54 PM

Emma, that is really crap. The entire NHS is kinda crap tbh, well maybe not everything but yeah. Please try and stay safe sweetie. *hugs* Text me if you wanna talk xxx

MammaMia 04-05-2008 11:54 PM

Welcome there Katch :) xxx

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 11:57 PM


Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 739929)
*sends Alexx big gentle hugs*


Originally Posted by Hells (Post 739932)
I'm here too.

*massive hugs*

Thanks guys *snuggles you both*

Detour. Derail 04-05-2008 11:59 PM


Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 739972)
I don't know why I ****ing bother. Like a good little girl I called the crisis team because thoughts of ODing and cutting were getting a little too strong and apparently they are too busy to speak to me right now. Well great. Hello? WTF is the point of a crisis team if they don't talk to you?

I know the feeling Emma :/
I called the crisis team the other week...because I was so down I couldnt even sleep. And not only did the guy REPEATEDLY call me Alice (despite me literally spelling my name out for him) he just told me to get a drink and go to bed :/
Thanks for nothing

Katch 05-05-2008 12:11 AM

Thanks for the welcome - hope you are OK

Pomegranate 05-05-2008 12:24 AM

Right, thats it. Enough is enough. Crisis team who I got TOLD to call by a+e if I wanted to cut just told me that it is fine to self harm provided I am not trying to take my own life. It seriously seems like that is what they want me to do, try and kill myself. Except I have a foolproof way so, thats what they want...who I am to ****ing disappoint? I am obviously not worth helping so what? I could fake trying to kill myself I suppose, but I don't want to do that. **** them, **** doctors, **** my friends who just don't get it, **** everything, hell **** the whole damn ****ing world.

Detour. Derail 05-05-2008 12:27 AM

Emma darlin'....I know the crisis team are absolue shitheads at times...in fact...most of the time...but please keep fighting...for us?
We love you so much...
I mean christ...I dont know what I wouldn't have done without you before hun...
Please try stay safe?:-(
*hugs you gently*

Katch 05-05-2008 12:35 AM

I wish I knew what to say to you to make you feel even a little better than you do now - that is the wrong reaction from the crisis team - if self harming is OK as long as you live - then what are so many people having to have therapy for - and why do we all have to cover it with long sleeves etc - Ofcourse it's not OK - it's just something we do when we need a way of coping - a pain we can understand. Dont' ever do it to prove someone else right - be strong - how about prooving them wrong instead - proove that you are worth helping. We are all here for you. Big Hug to you

MammaMia 05-05-2008 12:45 AM

Sweetie. These are totally wrong reactions as was yours for you Alex :( It's not on at all. Emma, please keep fighting for you, for us, for a chance of better things to come. I know how ****ing hard it is. I really do, I think everyone in here does. But I know you can get through this. You just have to believe there's light at the end of the tunnel.


~*forever_broken*~ 05-05-2008 12:48 AM

Oh Emma, I'm sorry you're having such a time of it. Please, hun, hang in there... We're love you SO much*massive hugs*
Hello there Katch, and welcome to the virtual psych ward:Grin:
*hugs Helen, Alexx, Emma, Zoey, Jo, Callie, Cloe, Jeremy, and anyone else she may have missed*
Oh dear I am tipsy and well on my way to drunk:pinch: I feel awful. Evidently my mom knows I'm taking meds:pinch:. She also knows about therapy and she knew I was drunk the last time I talked to her on the phone... and brought up cutting and therapy even though she knows I don't want to talk about it. I had a good time, most of the time, but those things kind of put a damper on the weekend:crying: and so I drink, and I'll cut later... Oh I want to be sick :s

MammaMia 05-05-2008 01:29 AM

*hides ina very dark corner*

*hugs Ally* Good to hear from you hun xxx

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