Wildly: I'm trying my best. And good luck with the interview. If you think it went well, that I'm sure it did <3

I proper want a creme egg now :x

Im sleepy.
and bored.
and dont want to go to work.

because i feel SUUUUPPPPEEEERRRRRRR sad.

&& really down.


&& the last thing i need is people shouting at ME because THEY cant manage their own money.


Blah.


=[

You weren't the one who caused the hell *hugs*

What a week this is turning out to be, thank god it's friday again tomorrow and I can laze if I wants. Having a very testing day. Firstly I kept having panic attacks again like yesterday (where I then had flashabacks and possibly disassoicated) but least I was safer today. Then I had my meeting about missing assignments/lectures. After a lonnnnnng chat and explaining (so hard...) it looks like I will remain a full time student until the summer & do my new modules, then re-enrol in september but as part time 1st year student and re-do the modules I've not completed/handed in this year. But it may not be happening. So yeah. Plus got to ask myself some deep questions and return into counselling, it was time to go back anyway....*sighs*

*Hugs Helen* I know what a bummer it is when your illness makes you miss too many lectures. Hopefully it'll turn out alright for you :)

Feeling a bit low at the moment. Hugs would be nice *weak smile*
xxx

hmm just going to curl up in the corner, feeling low, and unwell.

*sigh* sorry I haven't been around much, again. Just, things getting on top of me. Tonight's going to hell. Been triggered to cut all day, but now, I'm getting triggered to OD, or something. Saw my counsellors on Tuesday, which was good, and helped, for a little, but, they gave me this sheet to check everything off that I think about myself, like the bad bits, and I can't do it, not without getting triggered or angry and then taking it out on Tom. *sigh* I tried telling him how I'm feeling but it's almost like he doesn't think it's important enough to worry about. I dunno.

Thanks sweetie *sighs* I am glad the option miht be there but I feel like I've ****ed it all up, well I already did...so yeah *cuddles back and then cuddles you lots and hopes you feel better soon*

*cuddles tight* Love you sweetie <3

*jumps and cuddles hells*

Hang in there matey...ok?

xxx

blah blah blah blahhh....
*waves arms around and collapses*



so.tired.

*cuddles Jem*

*comes in and cuddles everyone*

Helen - sorry to hear about your bad week; thankfully friday is near! Don't have much in terms of words *sends lots of hugs*

Alexx - how did work end up going? hope you get more energy soon.

Jem - how are you doing?

Hana - hope the triggeredness passes quickly. Do you think you could save that sheet till just before your next appointment, that way you'll feel safer?

Shadowedsoul - *offers pillow and duvet* do you want to talk about it?

Zowie - *hugs and hugs some more* hope you feel better soon

Dayna - how are you doing today? Sorry to hear about the thoughts.. please try and be safe. How did things go before the judge?

Katrica - how are you doing today? *hugs*

Hannah - hope that things go well with the aftermath of the interview; maybe what he said was just a standard line? So people don't get anxious about not getting called right away? HOpe you have a fun time tonite celebrating your friends birthday! Enjoy the cake!

Mary Anne - sorry to hear that things weren't/aren't good.. hope some light shines through soon. *hugs back and gratefully accepts creme egg*

*leaves hugs for everyone else... hope things are going well*

--

*sits and cuddles with Puppy Sinclair*
been ill today with a bad cold and left work early and slept most of the day.. feeling very restless now..

take care all..

Going to see the judge tomorrow. Couldn't go yesterday 'cause of lack of money. Hearing tomorrow at 10am.

...Everything's fallen to pieces. Contact with him...has been established. It's so painful

aarrgghh why do this to myself? I dont know but still I do

cake not made today will make tomorrow

wants to give everybody a huge hug and say it's going to be okay, will do it, curls up in a corner can't write any more.

keep fighting guys, you deserve better than this. good luck with house hunting/university/relationships/anythig else.

*offers warm duvet and hot water bottle to anyone staying the night, but I get puppy SinClair tonight unless of course he's needed elsewhere :)*

Thank you for the cuddles Ravyn and Helen.

Shadowed - *hugs* do you know why you feel so low?

Hana - Keep talking to us while you feel triggered. I know how hard it is, but you can get through this :)

Jem - Hello *Waves* Don't think I've spoken to you in a while, how're things going?

Alexx - I'm sure the people who complimented you actually meant it. Try not to see it as a challenge to loose more weight, rather see it as an achievement.

Ravyn - Aww, being ill sucks. I hope Puppy SinClair cheers you up!

Dayna - *hugs* Not sure what you mean by seeing the judge?

Katricia - How are you doing? Do you need to talk? *hugs*

wildly insane (name? sorry!) - *hugs back* thanks for the words of encouragement :)

---
I'm feeling better today. My JSA finally came through but my overdraft swallowed £35 of it so I have to give every penny to my dad for rent AND still owe him loads because I've been borrowing a lot recently. I'm glad it's the weekend though, not because it means a break (because I have absolutely nothing to do during the day) but because it means people are free and going out and I can join them. Yay! (And yes, it also means borrowing more money :P)
Okay. I'll shut up now.
*Leaves hugs for everyone and pets puppy sinclair*
xxx

Two of my friends are in hospital.
Great >_<

Despite my promises still been a bit sporadic about getting myself to check in. Had a bit of trouble with eating habits and laxative abuse but hopefully I have got myself back under some sort of control.

Helen *hugs* sorry to hear about your friends, blad you are staying on at uni for the rest of the year and that there are option ahead of you to stay there.

Ravyn *offers more hugs!* hoping the light will poke through soon

Zowie *hugs* I'm glad the weekend is nearly here too

*hugs Kat* what's up?

*hugs Wildly Insane*
*hugs Dayna*
*hugs Nicole*
*hugs Voice of Reason*
*hugs Jetforce*
*leaves hugs and mini eggs* :)

*hugs back* Thanks Mary Anne.

Things are really getting to me right now, I'm trying so desperately hard to stay strong but it's too hard. But nothing that is worth something in life is easy or whatever they say.

Uh....UHHHHH ><

That was not nice.

Talking to a customer...laaadeeeedaaaahdaaaah
"Hi Alexx...my card isnt working on the internet..."
"Well can i take the last four digits of the long number please Mrs. Smith...then I can check the status..."
"Yeah sure....its 2278"
*goes to card screen*
"************2278. Card Purged"
"erm...you...erm...need to...really need to...speak...to...erm...another department. Illtransferyounowbye."

HORRID HORRID HORRID.

What a ridiculous status to put on a card...I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT ITS TRIGGERY ><

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Shut up now Alexx

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the support I got when I came to this thread.

At the time I needed it so much. You are all lovely people and if any of you need to chat, please PM me anytime.

Im feeling a bit better, and will make sure I come to visit and offer my support for others

Thank you xxx
Jade xxx