I fell asleep eventually. Feeling really ill today :(

Urges Urges Urges
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety
Bolk Bolk Bolk
=[

kind of a quiet day in the ward... hope everyone is alright

helen - glad you got to sleep.. so sorry that you feel sick now. Maybe if u are able to sleep more u will feel better. Hope that you got more sleep tonight.

*hugs lovewilltearusapart* you ok? keep fighting those urges.

Packing for tomorrow.. back to my apartment :-)

Slept much better last night, well more this morning. Writing an email must have really helped and an immense amount of crying too :S Can we fast forward to when this stuipd **** goes away please? Even if it is pretty much all my fault :(

im ok, just sat holding and contemplating, just wondering why that this "thing" is so alluring, why this object takes up so much energy and life out of me. Have really struggled this last week, failed miserably so many times, need help, but not know where to go. *continues to cry in corner*

I hope you're all looking after the ward (and each other !!)

Who's still around from the old lot (AKA. When I was always in here)? I miss you all!!

Love love love love love xxxxx

I'm still here Arwen *jumps on you and gives you a huge hug* Come hid in the denial tent with me?? :)

*cuddles for everyone else*

:):) Hiiii Helen! *Massive hugs* I'll gladly hide in the denial tent with you...Denial is what I do best at the mo! I've got cookies and cocoa to keep us warm :D xxxxxx

Sounds lovely *massive hugs and chomps on a cookie*
Denial is fantastic when things are hard, even if it does make it worse in a way.
*curls up and cries*

*Offers tissues*
I'm worried I might be a bit too deep in denial. But sometimes it can help...If only for a short while.
What's the matter sweetness?
xxx

*takes tissues*
Thank you.
If you think you're too deep in denial, could you maybe try open up, even just a little bit?
So much is wrong, I just want it to stop and go away.
Or least to calm down to a tolerable level.

I should open up...But not just now. I don't think I'm ready.
If you can't make the bad things stop or go away, why don't you stop for a while and just do nice things for yourself? Just do whatever you find relaxing...that might help you calm down a bit. And then hopefully things wont seem so hard.
*More hugs* xxx

Well I definately say to do it when you're ready, hopefully that'll be soon. I know I should stop and try take care of me, but I can't. People need me. Aha :( Plus mum's is making me do chores etc whilst I have no job >_> Everything's so hard right now. Trying to look after me though. Really I am.

Arwen: *jumps up from the dark corner and gives you a big hug* Welcome back.

Helen: *hugs you tightly* Wish I had some words to offer you. I hope you got some more sleep/are getting some more sleep.

*hugs everyone*

I would really like to get off this world for a bit. I don't really care where to, I just want out. I gave my knife to my housemate the other day to hide it for me because I knew I was close to using it .... I fell asleep with it in my hand and have a couple of scratches close to my eye, at which point I realised things were going too far ... Now I want the knife back ... *sigh* Can it all end now please ??

fu*ksake why when thing are going right, it all falls apart. i give up, *curls up in corner and crys.*

**** :/

Well, I'm home now, on my familiar computer, so I can do what I want to do when I want to do it. The drive home was a nightmare, as we ran into a snowstorm halfway home and were pretty much in it for about 150-200 miles. >_< I'm sat here with my cat on my lap... he missed us so much and I missed him!! He's so cute... *wonders if anyone else wants kitty snuggles?*

Sorry to hear you all aren't doing too well... things with me are really quite UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN and DOWN and DOWN and UP... you get the picture. It's very unpleasant. :(

*cuddles everyone*

*cuddles everyoen*

*cuddles everyone*

*clings to Kahlia*