I hate hate hate hate HATE me

*hugs mark* yeah. it is. lol i'm so happy and sad about all this leaving uni stuff. I'm just a lot different i guess then a was a year ago (see latest r/v post if interested lol)

*hugs mj* whats wrong hun? You don't have to hate yourself. You seem like a lovely person.

*Hugs MJ* whats up huin?

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs everyone*

Are you ok MJ? *hugs*

i've been trying to go to bed since 10pm... its now gone 1am and I can't settle. I've not self harmed in over 4 years and when I started recovering my obsessive tendencies sort of went away. i'm sorry i'm rambling.

I moved out of Uni saturday and it means living at home away from my girlfriend and its upset me as at home we live quite far apart and don't get to see each other everyday. I'm ok but apparently i'm not.

I can't breath properly. I keep looking at my bookshelf and its not right, I just can't line everything up and get it in the order I want. I do it then I still don't see its right.

i just feel like everything is out of my control and nothing is planned. i've had everything planned for so long and now I just don't.

I haven't felt this way in a long time. I don't panic anymore. I'm meant to be recovered.

*hugs Laura*

*hugs Mark*

*hugs Oliver*

*hugs Ian*

*hugs Laura*

*hugs weepingwillow*

*Hugs MJ*

*hugs Rhi*

I love all of you guys :)

*hugs all*
Just wanted to let you know that Im visiting M. this week. Shes the one person in the world who I truly trust (I guess). Its safe to be who I am here without getting critisized by my family all the time. I can use the internet in the internet cafe here, but Ill be too busy most of the time and just say hi every now and then.
Yesterday I got to watch the birth of an Alpakka just a few minutes after I arrived. It was very moving. We are expecting our second horse foal this week, too. Im excited.

Hope you are all ok. *hugs*

*Hugs Rhi*

*Hugs Felicia* I Love You , <3

*Hugs Laura* Ohh how cool .

Mark - you are a rock here for everyone. Sorry i haven't been around but I've been keeping an eye on you lot.

*hugs*

Hi everyone,sorry not been about much again....just not really been in a good place and my net was cut off again(online via my mobile)....just going to hide in here for a little while again....hope everyone's ok and sorry I can't offer much support xx

*Hugs Joni* Thankyou hun , How are you doing?

*Hugs Claire* You are always welcome here hun :)

Thanks Mark =) xx

*hugs Mark, Joni and Clair* how are you?

I've really been struggling today. Injured, but it didn't really help much. Didn't injure again, cause Moni noticed and distracted me. She's really great. I don't have to talk with her, she just looks at me for a second and knows what I need. I wish I could live here forever.

*hugs all* in case I forgot anyone...

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Claire*

hugs everyone

Hey Mark I'm doing ok, one day at a time etc etc.I have stopped drinking which is a really good step forward for me and somewhat of a miracle. How about you? Looks like you've been a bit up and down.

So pleased to see this wee haven still going strong and it is a nice place to pop back into every now and again.

*leaves hugs*
JK

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Louise*
*hugs JK*

how are you all??

*Squishe Laura ,JK and Louise * :)

how is everyone

*hugs mark and louise*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Laura*