*Hugs all the Wardies*

Heather , the Dress looks great :)

Becca , You look nice :) Purple suits you .

*hugs Mark*

*Hugs Helen back* How are you this morning?

Still feeling sick =[ Supposed to be going to my college enrolment but I'm too poorly :(

Aww nuts Helen , I hope you feel better soon :)

Hi Lia!! I'm meh. How are you? :-)

Hi everyone else, how you guys doing?

Can I...can someone just come sit with me in a corner?
Please? :crying:
I'm sorry guys.

*Hugs Mara*

*Hugs Kaytee and sits with in the corner of your choice*

Thank you Mark *hugs back* How are you going?

*cuddles Helen* I hope your better soon =[

Hi Mara *hugs*

Good morning everyone. :) *cuddles all*

Heather, I think that that dress looks very good on you. :) And thanks for tucking me in last night, I think I needed someone to do that. :) *hugs*

Becca, I agree with Mark, purple suits you. ^_^ *hugs* I'm sorry it's been a long time since you've believed that you were beautiful... I don't understand why so many people get so down on themselves. :( It's sad. Of course, I'm one to talk, ahahaha... >_<

Kaytee, hon, what's up?? *cuddles gently and sits with you and Mark*

Hey Mara, how are you today? *hugs*

Hels, I really hope that you feel better soon. :( *cuddles* Can you reschedule the college interview thing?

Lia, Mark, I spy you!! *glomps* How are you doing, loves?

Taz, love, how're things with you? *cuddles*

And to all the other wardies who haven't posted in a bit - how are you all today/tonight? *cuddles & safe care packages for all* <3

I got through last night okay. Ughhh. Fiiinally got to sleep after napping from 7pm-10pm, getting up and taking a shower/getting meds, coming on here and posting, and then going back to bed. Slept in til almost 7am too. But I was having this really really ****ing weird dream about getting my breakfast ready as well as a display of caterpillars. Woke up very very anxious. NOT a good combination in a dream, ahahaha... >_< Terrified though as today is supposed to be the first day on my new meal plan... :( So ****ing scared. It's a lot of calories and I am so scared that I am just going to gain weight off of it... :'( Sorry.

Jarrod has his meeting about his "gaffe" at work today... unless it's rescheduled like it was yesterday. I'm worried about it/him. I don't know why. It should go well... I guess I'm just scared he's going to be fired even though, well, he didn't do anything quite deserving of that. :( Miscommunications BITE. :'(

Sorry for all of the whinging... I just have no.one.IRL.to.talk.with about any of this. :'(

*Hugs April*I'm sure Jarrod won't get fired , from what you say it doesn't sound so. AND . That sounds like a particularly odd dream yes:S

I have my FIRST EVER 2 hour volunteer thing at the cyber cafe in town at 2 pm . I'm pretty anxious . I've forgotten a lot of what they taught me yesterday at training :S

Thank you April. I'm just so so overwhelmed with everything. I've just realised how bad the ED is :crying:

Your not whinging, keep talking to us, we're all here to listen :) *cuddles* I hope it goes okay for Jarrod

Good luck with it Mark, I'm sure everything will come back to you once you're there :) *hugs*

*sits with Kaytee & offers a hug*


I'm not having a great day. I feel really unsafe & my mind is trying to think of a safe place but everywhere seems so scary. I need help, but every time I see my CPN/Psych I just get really laughy & jokey & come across ok. I'm not!! why can't i tell them? I'm scared of myself.

*leaves some nuts on the table for everyone to munch on*

Hope ur all keeping well there :-)

*cuddles Mark* I'm sure that it will go okay - on first days people are usually quite forgiving of errors etc., and I agree with Kaytee, I'm sure that once you go there and start working some/most of the stuff from training will come back. We're here to cheer you on!! ^_^ *extra special hugs* <3

Kaytee, I'm sorry that things are so overwhelming right now. :( Care to talk about it at all? my PM box is open now, as it is always. :) And don't worry about bothering me whilst I'm struggling - helping someone else usually/always gets my mind off of me and my own ****. Heh. I'm sorry your ED is so bad. :( Is there any way that you can get help? because coming to the realization of how bad it actually is, can honestly be a stepping stone into health. Does that make sense at all??

*cuddles Mara* I understand the whole "laughy jokey" bit, I do that as well with my therapist. Thankfully she can see right through it, because my words don't match my affect (like last session, I said I was angry with my parents but was laughing when I said it, and she called me out on it - thankfully, I guess). I'm surprised that your CPN/pdoc can't see through it, and I'm sorry that they can't. Can you perhaps write one of them a letter saying all the thing that you wish that you COULD say when you see one of them? like, "I'm not okay, I'm struggling with XY&Z and I need your help"? something like that, I'm sorry if that's a dense/dumb suggestion. :-/

Urf. Jarrod's meeting rapidly approaches... I really hope/pray that it goes well... I also really hope that he won't be fired. :( SCARED. :crying:

Also, really am fighting with the whole "eat this and eat it now" thing that I feel like the paper on the table is saying. ("The paper on the table" = meal plan and food diary.) Ugh. I really don't want to follow someone else's idea of what I need to eat. I don't give a damn if my metabolism is slowing down. I also don't give a damn about what that nutritionist thinks I need to eat and how she thinks I need to exercise. But that's my ED talking, I'm pretty sure... but at the same time, how would I know?? I've always been a pretty stubborn person and I don't really want to get better, I'm enjoying losing weight. Of course, when I hit the "plateau" I won't be so happy... but... then I can start eating again, smaller increments than ****ing doubling my intake. :'( And she also "made fun" of one of my meals. I don't care if it's barely anything, it's what I like to eat and it tastes good to me... sorry, probably not making sense now. :'(

I really need to write in my journal, I think.... gonna go get dressed for the day then I'll do that. *cuddles all*

*cuddles everyone* Starting to feel a little better :D

Omg someone jumped off the 3rd floor balcony @ work. Triggered & unsafe :-(

*cuddles Mara* thanks :) I agree with April, I was going to suggest writing a letter or writing stuff down. I've done that a few times when I've seen people as I can be like that as well. Give it a go and see if that helps?

Thank you Jem, how are you going?

Thank you April :) Thank you everyone <3 I'm sorry, i feel like i've kinda just barged into the ward and demanded attention lol. April, I'm supposed to be getting some CBT starting next week, i've had my doctor and a psych up here refer me to the ED services in the city and finallly I should be starting monday, but I gotta get the confirmation call tomorrow.. hopefully, fingers crossed, otherwise Ill have to call them :/ i think ive found a support group here as well but it means a fair bit of travelling, hopefully its worth it :/ and yes, it does make sense ^_^ thank you :) its just been an absolutely draining past week, its been very much a roller coaster

*cuddles* you are making sense, i'm sorry its such a battle atm. i'm yet to start on a meal plan and food diary, supposed to be going through that when i start therapy :/ and im sorry im not much help at the moment, but ill offer you plenty of hugs *hugs* :)

*cuddles Helen* I'm glad you're starting to feel better :D

Oh goodness, sorry Mara *cuddles and keeps safe* is there anyone around you? thats horrible :(