Awh, well, I'm glad that you've known him for that long & that he's a nice guy.

How're you doing today, other than that?? *hugs back*

Just updated my r/v thread... I am so emo. :(

im good actually :D makes a change for me. but ive had a good day. its ok to be a bit emo sometimes, dw. x

*cuddles everyone lots & lots*

Really struggling :/

*hugs helen tight* whats up hun? you wanna talk? you can PM me if you like xx

*hugs Nicole tight*

Just really struggling. In a really bad place. Think I'm sinking down to my worst point. Don't want to go there. Don't want to be here. I just want to be happy & over all this.

Please :'(

checking in if you will have me !!!!
 

Decided to check in for a while ....
Thinks not going well had to stop all 37 tablets a day cos im pregnant n i havent slept in days n aching like mad

i hate to say this but i really need my tablets back :(


wish i was safe ... need to be safe so much n cant stand this horrible feeling arggggg :(

*hugs everyone*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies but there's been about 2.5 pages since I was in here last night.

I was reading some of the posts above about animals and it made me realise something ...

I can not escape the past, creeping up inside, reminding me that I, can never bring you back ....

my little baby girl (miniature schnauzer) has been gone for almost a year now ... and I really miss her. I'm sitting at my poor excuse for a computer desk and her collar is sitting infront of me, tag and all. I want to put it on my ankle and wear it everywhere I go. *sigh*

Sometimes I just wish that all of this was just over.

*finds Puppy SinClair and gives him a big hug and a pat and then disappears into a dark corner*

*huggles hurt and kahlia*

*hugs Crimson* How are you doing hun?

*hugs Linda* Hun I can't even imagine how horrible that must feel. I just want to offer you some hugs and a listening ear.

*hugs Helen, April, Mark, Laura, everyone I've missed ... I know there are more of you, I just can't think of your names*

*huggles everyone*

Just found out tonight that my parents are apparently back in town tomorrow night after their 'round Australia trip. They left in June last year so it's been quite a while. I've lost a lot of weight since they left and my mother has jokingly been saying that she won't recognise me ... that kinda hurts, but I know she only means well. It will be nice to have "the parental units" home, but kind of weird as well ... I don't know if you get what I mean. I don't think it's really sunk in that they'll be home soon. :S

*huggles everyone then sits down to think*

*hugs fellow inmates*
I'm still at my Parents , 2 more days.
I've put on a half a stone in like 2 weeks * sigh * I'm dieting when I get back to my flat I feel gross and disgusting , ugh.
I don't think I can put off S.I. until Monday , I'm gonna have to sneak off and lock myself in the bathroom and be quick and secretive , I'll be as safe as I can.
I feel really triggered , THAT ball of tension in my stomach plus flat, these feelings that contradict each other yet I feel them at the same time , confusing.

We can all be Emo sometimes April , My CD Collection is proof of that , although I'll listen to most types of music emo has it's place

*cuddles everyone lots & lots*

*cuddles everyone.* sorry helen, my laptop froze last night and i couldnt get back on, hope you're feeling better today *hugs* hope everyone else is feeling ok too.

Not really Nicole. Got paranoia to add to the mix of everything. ****ING JOY!! Just snapped at my mum after having a really good day with her and now I'm crying. Oh hell :( :/

*cuddles everyone*

Im tired of being everyone's back up choice... What I thought were ppl banding around me was really just selfish acts... so i guess that means i am completely replaceable.

*cuddles Laura lots*

I took an overdose today but I can't go to hospital becausemy manager always finds out and she won't let me come back to work.

You really should go to hospital sweetie & get checked out. Sounds like you're possibly not well enough to cope with work right now? *squishes*

*cuddles all*

Welcome to the ward, Hurt (Linda?)... once again, nice to see a new face. :) How're you doing today? That must be awful, to have to go off your pills when you're so used to them... I know I'd have to were I to get pregnant (God forbid :-X) and that would be a disaster... :(

Kahlia, I'm sorry that you miss your "baby" so much - we can get so close to our pets... I would miss my cat so much if anything happened to him. Have you thought about getting another pet or are you just not ready yet? (sorry if that was a dense question) And I'm also sorry that you want it all to be over, although that's completely understandable... you've been through so much. *cuddles*

Hels, how are you doing now? *hugs tightly* Things will be okay. I promise... it will just take time. Do you have anyone IRL that you can talk with??

One_step, I agree with Helen, maybe you're not stable enough for working? Definitely go get checked out... your health is more important than your job even if it doesn't seem that way (which I totally get, although uni replaces job in my case). *hugs*

LauraStar, I'm sorry that you feel like you're replaceable. :( To me, you're not. You're YOU. A very special, loveable, sweet person. Please try and take care of yourself, okay? ♥ *squishes*

Mark, how are you doing now? I hope that if/when you SI, you do manage to stay safe and all... :( I hate thinking of you feeling as desperate as you do, I hate thinking of ANYONE feeling that desperate, including myself... but I understand it. Sadly. I wish that I'd never started SI'ing... It will be 6 years soon since I started. :( And yeh, I suppose it is okay to be emo once in awhile...

Nicole, how are you doing?? *hugs* And anyone else I've missed? (sorry... :-S)

I am trying to write my senior sem paper... at least 10-15 pages by Monday and so far I have the introduction (about a third of a page) done. DAMN IT ALL. :( I hate this paper and wish it would just go off and write itself. :crying: I'm scared that I won't be able to get it done on time... shouldn't have put it off this long I know but it's so hard to concentrate. :( :( :(

Today has been an okay day until now, though. Slept in until 6:30, cuddled with my husband for awhile then got up and played WoW for awhile. Had breakfast then went to a state park near us for a hike. :D It was a lot of fun - the weather is lovely here now. We're going to try and do that hike each Saturday, if the weather is good. It's a steep one but very gorgeous. I'll try to upload some photos at some point of some of the waterfalls etc. that we saw on the hike. :)

Okay, I'd best get back to my stupid-ass paper... damnit I am so sick of it already, and I have to present on it on the 26th. :crying:

*hides*

*hugs tightly* I feel worse to be honest April. I really do :( Least not paranoid anymore about something. So that helps. Going to be a very very lonely night & hopefully a good cry. Seriously doubt it. I need my best friends. But they need me so so so much more, just hope I'm helping :'( Not really got anyone IRL to talk to. I emailed my sisters the other day but I don't think any of them have got round to reading yet. They're busy busy busy ladies. My mum has enough on her plate to deal without me adding to it.