*Hugs Sarah* I didn't get any :( Still, on the upside, I chucked my blades down the drain.

Oh well done Lia *cuddles tightly* I'm so proud of you!

*cuddles Sarah* Find me someone who doesn't? :P

My fiance doesn't mind it because he can walk on it. I'm just like a duck on it flailing like a tool

*Hugs everyone*
I managed to get back online :)
Thanks Sarah :)

Yay :) *cuddles*

*cuddles* I really want to do some craft stuff but I am rubbish at it and also I have no materials or anything :/

What about doodling? That tends to fill the urges for me.

He everyone :) feeling much better now. Wasnt feeling a 100% but i decided i would try and find some calm music on U tube and i did. I didnt know this music existed its awesome! I thought i would share it, i love it, there is lots more of his music. How is everyone?

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5Gd3JjeJ9I&feature=related"]YouTube - Ryan Farish - Atlantica[/ame]

*hugs Ian*
Jango is good for finding new music too :) Glad you're feeling better.

-hugs ward-

Thanks :) thanks for the hug. How are you? Its amazing what music can do. I'v never even heard this before, i was just browsing through "calm music and relaxing music" on u tube. *Hugs Kitty* How are you Kitty?

Going insane. Getting worse as time goes by.

I'm so sorry kitty :( PoisenedApple: iv forgotton your name sorry. I feel so calm and soothed, that music is awesome, iv got it playing now.

-cuddles everybody-

Heya Helen :) *Hugs Helen* how are you?

*cuddles everyone who can accept*

I'm good. Yourself? *hugs Ian*

*hugs Kahlia verry tightly*

I'm good thanks Helen :) i wasnt feeling a 100% until i listened to some awesome calm music, which i gave a link to just now. I feel much better now.

Glad to hear it :) Magical how music can help make us feel better isn't it?

I have no idea what I am going to do. I'm freaking out right now. I got in contact with the financial aid office at the school today to find out when I would get my financial aid money. They looked at my account and said it's iffy with me because I had to take a medical withdraw from this last semester. So they are going to review my case on either Monday or Tuesday of next week to decide if they are going to allow me to get financial aid for this next semester or not. He said that since it's my first medical withdraw and stuff, I have a good chance of being approved, but there is still a chance I can be denied. If I am denied, I will have to withdraw again. But that's not really what I'm worried about. Without that money I will be homeless. I won't have a cell phone or internet connection anymore. No gas for my car. I am living off of my financial aid money. If I am denied, everything will be horrible. And I have to wait until sometime next week, when they decide to review my case, to know if I am going to be homeless or not. Also, if I don't get my financial aid, that means I won't be able to go see my counselor or doctor anymore.

Another thing that is driving me crazy is the question on whether I am pregnant or not. My menstrual cycle still hasn't started. It is 2 days late. I do not have another home pregnancy test to take, and can't afford getting another one. I mean, I could go get one from the dollar store, but that would be a waste of a dollar because their tests are not the most accurate (I had a friend who had a sister that was 6 months pregnant who took one of the tests from the dollar store and it came back negative). I have an appointment with a clinic for next Thursday to get a test, but that is still like a week away. I'm pretty sure I am pregnant at this point, but need the confirmation in order to receive medical. I have to receive medical if I am because I need to get in and be seen right away since I will be considered high risk because of my tubular pregnancy 6 months ago. If I am pregnant, and do get medical, I will be able to go see a different doctor and counselor, if I get denied my financial aid, but that raises 2 problems. One, what would be the point if I am homeless? And for two, I would have to start all over again with someone else that I don't know and that is extremely difficult for me to do being as I do not trust people very well.

I am just so stressed out right now. I have no idea how I am going to survive this weekend. I'm freaking out. I want to cut. I'm feeling suicidal. But there's not a damn thing I can do to make it better. The school just has to take their sweet ass time. I can't handle this waiting. I don't know what to do.

-sits in her dark corner and hugs her knees and rocks back and forth-

Sorry. sorry.

*cuddles Kitty*
I'm sorry, I'm pretty useless for anything but a hug and a listening ear right now.

-hugs crimson- Thanks.

*hugs crimson, kitty, ian, helen, kahlia, sarah, and everyone else who posted before this page*

i know i'm being useless lately... can't be on much/feeling worse is making it harder to catch up :-/

*huggles everybody*
sorry. i'm pretty useless for anything else at the moment :-(

*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Kahlia*
*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Amy*

*Hugs Amy* Hello :) How are you?

*Hugs Mark* How are you doing today?

*Hugs Kitty* By the sounds of your situation, I can't see why you wouldn't get the aid. But the waiting does sound horrible. I hate waiting for so much as an exam result, so I can't imagine how horrible this must be.

*Hugs Kahlia* I don't think you're useless, we all have our episodes where we can't face anyone else's problems on top of our own. How are you this morning?

*Hugs Laura* Like I said to Kahlia,it's alright, you don't have to do individuals and things every time. Is there anything you want to talk about?

*Hugs Ian, Helen and Crimson*

*Hugs Lia* I feel okay , determined that I won't drink (alcohol) for the next 3 days so I can say I been off it for 3 days to my keyworker . Kind of triggered though :( I am waiting in for the post person then I'll go for a walk , It's nice out and there isn't any ice by the look of it the rain washed away the snow before it could ice up . How are you hun?

It's actually sunny here. Shocking. Well done on your drinking :) I know you can do it. I love walking. If I want to clear my head, I walk, and if I want to escape, I run.

I'm alright today. Got nothing to do, so may die of boredem by the end of it though.

Sunny here too . I can't run far , so unfit but I do like walking I walk down by the canal into town most everyday , it's nice to look at the ducks and swans and such and I stroll along with my music in my headphones and I kind of get away from life (If that makes sense?) .

Heyyy guys. Its heather :) finally got bored of my username :p

It has been snowing here but the sun is shining now.

Hi Heather, nice username.

Hey thats a cool username Heather *Hugs*

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you hun?

I'm really lonely. I wish that my brother was at home. I was that my Dad was alive, but not unwell. I wish that my Mum was alive, but not an alcoholic.

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you feel lonely , I get lonely quite often too so know how it feels:( *Extra Squishes*

*Spots and Hugs Jill*

*walks in and slams door* AGH!!! I'm so so so pissed off right now! All I ask is for some understanding and I get a rant instead! AGH!!!! *hides in corner*

*Hugs Sarah* Whats happened Hun?

I was talking to my faince about how I'm not sure about going back to uni next term because I can't concentrate and I feel useless in every lecture but I will because I have friends there to support me and I can always blow off some steam playing pool if I'm really frustrated, now he's going on about how I just use it as a social activity and I either need to put more effort in or quit. I'm furious with him. I genuinely struggle to get out of bed for uni because of how bad I feel and I usually have an energy drink Mon, Tues and Weds due to early mornings and my struggle sleeping (as Dr took me off the sleeping pills that helped me be awake enough to get out of bed) but he's angry at that too. The energy drink has less caffeine than coffee, I just can't drink cold coffee so I have to drink it all at once where my can can continue for hours. I don't see an issue with that, he does. He gets annoyed when I play pool instead of working on stuff that can be done another time and my head hurts I'm so angry

Awh I'm sorry he doesn't understand , *Huggles* Can you expain to him just how difficult it is for you to even get out of bed in the mornings ?

I did. He knows, he recovered from depression himself, during that time he got out of bed to go to the bathroom and thats it. I'm just so frustrated and a little hurt *snuggles Mark*

*squishes Sarah*

*hugs Sarah and Mark*

*hugs Lindsay and Mark*

Starting to calm down a little now.

That's good. Is there something nice you can do for yourself to help you to relax?

Not here :( just playing sims right now, distraction

hugs mark back. hugs the ward, argh keep burning the crap out of my finger trying to keep this damn fire going. cries

Hey everyone, my username is going to be changing soon to just thought id let you all you know.

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Lia*