*hugs Jet and Choco* Sorry I swear i will stop being whiney

it's ok...we r in the psych ward...anything goes and whatever is said here..stays here :-P

Thats Good Because i seem to be in an odd whiny mood that is driving everyone around me crazy....

Jeremys right. Whine away.
*offers you some cheese ;-)*
Naw, sorry just teasing

*curls up in her corner for a nap*

ARGH!!!!
*storms in*
*crumples in a heap*
*starts crying again*

I hate them i hate them i hate them
why cant they leave me alone?!?!?!
why do they have to pick on me and b*tch about me?
why do they have to make me feel like sh*t.
*sobs her heart out*

I have been to a&e today, had a wee accident with my hand today.

But it's not broken yaaaaaay!

*hugs Alexx*
What's wrong hunni? Who's b*tching at you?

Helen you ok? What happened? *careful snuggles*

*cries in her corner and consideres her bottle of Tylenol*
Just watched a recap of this HBO show 'In Treatment'... Girl ODd on who knows what, some prescription meds. And I got a bit jealous. Makes me kind of want to. I mean, I have been wanting to for a few days but it doesn't help to see someone else do it...
And I can't. Have a counseling session tomorrow and he's sure to ask (I know he's worried and that makes me feel kind of bad)... and I'm worried that if I did and then told him he might decide to have me locked up and then I won't be able to go home for break... and then my family will all know :crying: So I'm stuck...

*cries quietly in her corner wraped up in her blanket*

These girls in my sociology class....they make me feel really arkward and paranoid and they make me feel inadequate and fat and ugly and BLAH ><
They wish I was dead....
I wish I was dead :crying:
*cries again*

*offers you my blanket too*
Dont cry hun....
Please stay strong...i know its hard...
*hugs you for comfort AND support*

Well other than the pain then yeah (well I still feel **** and all but whatever). I was mucking around with a friend and he went into another room, I followed, he tried to shut it on me, I tries open it, one of us let go (I think) and my hand got caught =[ Had two ice packs at college and then went cus I reallllllly worried about it :wow:

*gives snuggles to you and Alex*

*hugs everyone*

*hugs helen*

*hugs Alexx*
Aww hunni I'm sorry. Please don't wish you were dead. Those girls are certainly not worth it.

*hugs Helen*
Well I'm glad you got it looked at.

*snuggles in her corner and stares vacantly, sniffing slightly*

*sigh* thankyou :notsure:
*huggles*

why are you sad sweety?

I'm sooooooooooo upset && angry.

Drinking alcohol won't do me any favours, esp as I did have to take 4 painkillers, oh well =\

I'm writing two emails, both to teachers, so not gonna impress myself tomorrow. They need to know the truth, one more than the other....yet I'm gonna be so embrassed.

*hugs everyone who needs them*

Helen why are you upset and angry hun? What are you emailing your teachers about? xx

*snuggles Alexx*
Not sad so much hun... Out of sorts is all... A little blank with a touch of lousy. How ya doin' hun?

*hugs Helen*
Good you're writing those emails hun. I'm proud of you.

*makes a tea tray with tea, cocoa, coffee, and biscuts and passes it around*

Hey, Callie, when you get a chance tell us how the DBT thing went luv.

*curls up in her corner with her blanket and stuffed lamb and stares into space*

*offers Foreverlost a huggle and a bunny*

im better thou mom kinda made me all dizzy and panicky but i lasted through it....

Oh God...*runs, stops, paces, curls up and rocks* I don't know what the hell happened but it is like someone has flicked a switch in the last five minutes and all these images are now circulating through my head, ways to hurt myself. Take the first step, start the routine, go buy alcohol, wait, music, cut, early alarm, A+E, home in time for doctors appointment. Crap.

ok, 12 hours and then, 12 hours my whole family will be out of the country for two weeks. 36 hours and I will be alone in my house, away from my flatmates and uni for 2 weeks. I can do anything, destroy myself, harm, abuse my body for 2 weeks and nobody will be there for me to have to hide it from *sits rocking and cries*.

Thanks Alexx, glad you're better.

*moves over for emma and puts an arm around her*
I'm sorry luv, I've got no advice. Please take care...

*hugs Ally and actually starts to cry* How pathetic

Oh Emma hunni, just please be careful.
*safe snuggles*

*hugs Emma and Ally*

*walks in and scream*
I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry guys...

I'll just disappear now :crying:

No, not pathetic. Shed some tears for me too would you? I'd like to cry but can't...
*offers Emma some tissues, a blanket, and a stuffed lamb*

I'm worried about you Em :(

I'm upset and angry at my dad, kinda explained via text. But for rest of you, why does he have to pretend most of this split **** isn't his fault? It is. Why did he have to pretend at first that everything was ok? When it really wasn't. Why does he have to be such a ****ing liar? Why does he have be my boss so therefore I *have* to talk to him on sunday.

Why the **** am I drinking alcohol when I've had four painkillers, not a good idea.

I haven't emailed anyone yet, was gonna just let it all out. But shan't bother, dont wanna be told to see my counsellor when I know I have to ok. I just want them to react to it...

Aww Alexx, don't disappear... What can't you do sweetie?
*hugs*

Thanks Jeremy.

I cant do this :crying:
I cant carry on...
I cant keep going...
I'm stupidly triggered right now..
I dont know why....

DAMN MY EMPTY HOUSE!!!!
*cries*

*hugs Alexx and gives u a bunch of flowers*

Hope u stay safe there...

*moves over more in her corner for Alexx and wraps her in a safe warm blanket*

I'm sorry sweetie, I wish I had some advice...

Much love everyone I'm gonna disapear for a bit.

Please take care

*sigh*
Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Alyssa
*curls up and cries*

*sets up a camp fire and roasts some mashmellows*

Man, i should sleep hmm....but maybe i won't

I'll sleep for you...

*is worried about you too Alex*

I love my Em <3

Can't stop making her ring me or me ringing her.

Sure you just dont wanna come follow me everwhere? ;)

Lol....hmmm sounds tempting ;) My uni tutors and work boss may have something to say about that though :P Stay strong sweetheart- love ya too x

*hugs Alexx* Have faith that things will get better soon hun x

Jetforce (I have an idea your name might be Jeremy?)- as usual you rock! Can I have a marshmallow please?

Haha. I don't trust myself right now. Okay, why should I do anything over him? He's aint orth it and I wanna prove my point to my mum :)

*dances*

I could talk to you for hours Em, I really could....!

I feel even more pooey today =[

So tempted to let certain things return.

NO. NO. NO.

Keep fighting Helen- that's good. Dance all you like if that makes you feel distracted and better.

Bleh...dont worry about me guys...
Im not worth it :/

I should stop binge eating soon :/

*sigh*

*pokes Alexx* yes you are worth it, even if you don't believe that we do! We don't even know you but from the posts you have made you seem really nice and that makes you worth something!

I want to worry :)

I don't like to see peole suffering :(

*cries* so hard Em. So hard. Your words of encouragement yesterday are in my head....

Anyway time for your request ;)

1. I went to A&E eve though my feelings weren't good.

2. I spoke to my sister about my dad...

3. I spoke to Mark, not about everything but yeah...

*huge hugs to everyone in here*
Alex hun you are worth it, you're loverly *offers you more warm blankets for the denial tent*
Em, please take care *soft hugs*
N Helen darling, Keep going, have become close to you guys in three days
*re-enters the denial tent, sits and shakes (i dont feel so good)*
Love to you all
x
x

uhhh...how can you guys be so nice to me?
No one is this nice to be...
I'm a horrible person and you're all so nice...
*cries*

You are lovely and I'm here for you anytime ok?
I know how it feels,
If you ever need anyone just PM
xx

I'm gonna be so drunk tomorrow.
hehe.
topped up my glass.
Had 2 more painkillers.

Oh dear =\

Soooo ****ing tempted!

Thankyou....:crying:

I've messed up really bad :pinch:
*is in pain*

Helen will you please be careful? Alcohol + painkillers= bad idea!

*hugs Alexx again* Why have you messed up hun?

I need to go buy more bandage tomorrow....
I wont stop bleeding:crying::pinch:

I'm eating aswell, might not be drunk.

I just want a lonnnnnnng conversation with you but people have gone to bed godammit :(

I feel like *****.

*hugs Helen*

*panics*