*cuddles Oliver* I'll try and do something relaxing... currently am "browsing" online... lol... will probably end up buying something though!! even though I shouldn't... hrmmph.

I spy a Kahlia!! *cuddles*

I think I'm going to go read in a bit... want to read some more before bed as I am starting Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi; the subtitle is "a memoir in books" and it's a LOVELY book thus far. It's about Iranian women, a group of 7 Iranian students and an Iranian literature professor, reading forbidden books under the extreme regime of the time (recently). Sadly, my concentration is still not up to snuff so I don't read a lot at a time... but I can still get really involved in books, if I manage to make it past 10 minutes or so, which is good. :)

*hides*

*cuddles everyone*

Happy Birthday Oliverrrrrrr :D

*cuddles April* I know what you mean with concentration thing, I used to be able to read books so quickly, but now I end up having to read over bits again because I just completely stopped concentrating, which is really annoying.
hope you get some of your book read and have a good night sleep.

*cuddles Kahlia, I spy you*

Thanks Helen *hugs* how are you? did you go out tonight?

Totally stupid me, just ordered things and put the opposite zipcodes on the billing and shipping addresses... FEEL SO DUMB!!!!!! Hopefully the site will get it sorted somehow... :-/

Bless you April. Not stupid though.

Oliver, you're welcome *hugs* I did go out tonight...

*hugs kahlia* im sorry that your suicide urges are so bad, please dont act on them. Its good that you can fight your SI urges off most of the time though. It can be so hard sometimes.

*hugs mark* im glad that your liking WOW, ive never been into video games but all this talk has intrigued me a little lol. Im sorry about your meds, thats pretty bad that they are not refilling your prescription. I have a really hard time with phone calls too so dont feel too badly about that.

*hugs crimson* the economy really does make it hard to move around, i justify mine b/c its technically for graduate school heh so hopefully ill get some financial aid which will definitely help. Im glad that you are feeling less sick today. I feel like lots of people are getting sick right now.. no good.

*hugs helen* hope that you have fun going out tonight. Im sry that you were upset earlier. I also SPY YOU! :)

*throw some confetti* happy birthday oliver! i like being in my 20s better than a teenager i think.

*hugs april* Your post did make sense. I think its more about me wanting to be "seen" around others too though, b/c when i am by myself i do what i want, within reason of course.
Im sorry that you are so tired, sometimes all i want to do is sleep too. Your book sounds interesting tho. I cant wait to do more reading this summer.
You are definitely not stupid for mixing up the zip codes.. its just a mistake, it happens.

*hugs little laura, tineke, vicki, hayley, nicole julie and anyone i missed*

I hope a fresh start is what i need. Im not feeling much better today, but i guess im surviving. Hoping to keep busy tonight.. distracted anyway.

I don't want to feel like this :'(

*hugs April* your not stupid, I managed to stick a stamp on the back of an envelope once, now that was stupid. I always get very confused when ordering anything off american sites as all the different words confuse me, so I think i put the wrong stuff in all the boxes, but everything has always arrived, so I'm sure it will be fine.

*hugs Helen* how was it?

thanks Laura *hugs* sorry your still not feeling great, I hope a fresh start helps.

*hugs Julie, JK, Nicole, Crimson, Tineke, Mark,Vicki, Hayley, Kahlia, little Laura*

It was really good thank you. Except my low mood wouldn't go away.

I'm glad it was good, but I'm sorry about your low mood.

I also went out tonight, met a friend and had a couple of drinks on Canal Street, we just sat and chatted, was nice.

Sounds good.

*hides in shame* :o

:'(

Why hiding April? Nothing to be ashamed about?

April - I agree with helen. Theres nothing to be ashamed of. Please dont hide b/c of the mix up.

*hugs helen* sorry about your low mood.

*hugs oliver* glad you had a nice time going out.

*hugs April* why u hiding in shame?

*hugs all - with the usual addendum*

Sorry I just breezed in here before without saying anything. I just quickly jumped in to catch up on my reading.

I haven't told my housemate about the level of the suicidal urges/thoughts. He knows that I'm having them, but doesn't know that they are as bad as they are. I've started to put a plan together and I know what I need to get to put it into action, and I've worked out the how/when/where situation. I don't know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up. I'll get through it, I always do. *sigh*

I hope everyone is doing okay.
*big hugs* for those who want/need them
*throws confetti but stays away from any balloon type things (latex allergy) for Oliver's birthday*

quick replies...
happy birthday oliver!
april - i dunno if we can play other places realms or not lol as for us playing i'll let ya know when i get my desktop up and running and we shall try to coordinate times and such :)

Crimson: Makeup can be a royal pain. I have serious allergies so only wear makeup on stage, but it can be so damn expensive, not to mention getting only what you want/need! I hear you on that one.

Yeah... I was trying this new outlook thing... wear makeup (i'm only allergic to wool and bees :) ) and smile and pretend until i feel happy... i think the theory of the person that recommended this to me was that i'll feel better about me when other people compliment and appreciate me... but then i looked in and at my makeup box and just felt like throwing it box and all off my balcony lol

*edit* le sigh mix and matching i ended up with it costing 392$. eyeshadow wise i love the custom palette from mac but that's 179$ by itself. i may just go with bare minerals and see about getting my custom palette of 15 eye shadows later on ... like next year :)

*Bounces in hugs anyone who would like a hug*

Happy birthday Oliver.

It is nice to try new things angelic monster (not sure of your name sorry)

Sorry if haven't replied to everyone bit of a scatter brain thismorning. Gotta go befor I get kicked off by housemates.

Hope everyone has a nice day/ night.

Hey..hope everybody is keeping well

*leaves some hugs and some snakes behind*

*whines alots and lots*

Happy birthday Oliver!

*Hugs everyone*

I'm going to work then I'm off to Ghent so you won't hear from me all weekend. I'll be OK though, I'll be at Tom's.

*husg lynx*how a good weekend hun

happy birthday oliver
happy birthday oliver
happy birthday oliver
happy birthday oliver

*offers hugs to all who want/can accept them*

Feel really bleh. Talked to my housemate about my su stuff. We're trying to work something out.

*leaves some safe hugs and some no-cal chocolate on the table*

thanks for all the birthday messages guys :)

*hugs all who want hugs*
sorry no time for individual replies got up a bit later than I meant to and need to go out in about 20mins.
Hope you all have a good day/night

*Hugs for everyone who would like them*

*Crawls under a bed*

*Joins Nicole under the bed*

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY OLIVER :)
How does it feel to no longer be a teenager?

*Hugs to all my wardmates who need them*
*Waves for Owen*

PFFFT My e-mail account seems to have gone hinky , I think I'll have to set up a new one and then go all over the net changing my address on websites . too lazy to do that now , I'm hopeing it will fix itself .

I need to shave today , I avoided shaving yesterday but I don't want to put myself near razors today hmmm.

Just grow a beard Mark!

I can't i'm too fair , when I was a child I was naturally bleach blond colour . It doesn't grow evenly. :( pet peeve , I would like to have the option to grow a beard though :) *Hugs Lindsay*
EDIT: I just tried to go out , got part way down my road and HAD to turn round and come back to my flat :S I've no energy and it just freaked me out being out :(

How do you mean?

*hugs everybody*

Thanks for your support guys.

*hugs everyone then curls up in the deepest, darkest corner where no-one can see her and cries*

*cuddles all*

I just feel so bad about the mixup last night. :( I don't know how to fix it either... I just tried, but their business hours are M-F so I have to wait until Monday for them to get that email. *sigh*

Anyway. I spy a Vicki, a Kat, and a Mark!! *cuddles*

Mark, I'm sorry that your email's screwed up... what type of email do you use? I've used Hotmail since 2003 I think and it's not ever screwed up on me, so maybe you could switch to that one? I dunno... just a thought. And do you have any questions about WoW so far? what kind (race & class) of toon do you have? :D *cuddles* I leveled my night elf hunter this morning... she's level 28 almost 29, can't wait til level 30. :) Just because it's nice to reach a landmark like that. :) It's an achievement... I dunno. Kinda hard to explain. But anywhoo... here's what she looks like. The tabard is a guild tabard. :) *curls up next to*

Vicki, Kat, how are you two doing?? Vicki, any better than last night? *cuddles both*

And everyone else? how are you all doing? *ginormous cuddles*

Vicki, I take it the question was aimed at me? What I mean is, stepping OUTSIDE yourself and your emotions at the moment, are you sure that you've lost him? or can you "get him back"? I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense either... am very tired still. Heh. :-/

*finds & holds Kahlia gently and rocks back and forth, as long as it isn't minded* Wish I could be there IRL for you, for all of you...

April , I currently switching all my details from umpteen websites to my new Hotmail account .
as for WoW
I'm a Human Warrior , Level 5 :) I hope to get him to level 6 later :)

Edit: I'm sorry this mail is so short , I'm stressed out ugh

Awh, level 5. :D I have a level 5 priest on Grizzly Hills... except she's an Undead. Ugly as hell but she will serve the purpose of getting my blood elf hunter to 60 as soon as we decide to powerlevel. Lol. So we shall see... :) We made a Refer-A-Friend account for leveling purposes... will be interesting once we get to around level 45 due to the dungeons we'll be leveling through, since I HATE THEM. Heh... :-X

Glad you started a new email account etc. Hopefully won't take too long to get things sorted!! *cuddles* Why are you so stressed out?? just a bajillion different things?

Am planning on going to my parents' house to do laundry in a bit. I'm so freaking tired though, will probably end up falling asleep... haha. I got up at 5:45am today... so no wonder I'm tired, even though we went to bed relatively early (around 8ish).

Anyone have interesting/exciting plans for the day?? *cuddles all who want them*

Yes , at least a bajillion . Benefit medical , Power company , Presription unfilled , E-mail packing up .*Sigh*
April if you can figure out how to change you WoW e-mail can you PM me the details , I'm so stuck and getting more and more frustrated:( EDIT: Oh I Think , THINK, I've done it .

*Waves to Owen*

*hides*

*hides with Kat & Kahlia but hugging everyone else first*

*finds Kat, Kahlia, and Hels all under one of the beds in the ward* *gives them cuddles*

What's up, Kat, love? *cuddles*

Hels, you okay? If not, IT'S OKAY to say so. :) *more cuddles*

Kahlia, I hope you're feeling better & maybe managing to get some sleep... :)

Mark, let me know if you've figured out how to change your email - if not I'll see if I can figure it out, or get Jarrod to help me figure it out... lol. I'm not a "techgeek" either... so yeah. :) Have you played any more WoW today? I want to right now but I'm at my parents' house and they don't have WoW installed on their comps and I'm not about to do that without their permission... heh.

Am drinking vanilla caramel truffle tea... sooo good!! Anyone want some? I can fix more... :)

*cuddles for all* :)

No I'm not. I'm furthest away from ok as can be. I think :/ *cuddles April*

OHHH weird tea yes please April . I think I managed to get my e-mail sorted with WoW and quite a few other sites too.
*Hugs Helen*






EDIT: I haven't been on WoW today April no , maybe later , gotta level up . right now I am feeling pretty low , just don't see the point in life . Don't know why I bothered to get out of bed today . I want to cut . I'm gonna have a bath , try and relax , at least get clean :S

Awh Hels... *big cuddles* What's up, sweetheart? ♥

*fixes Mark a mug of tea and wonders if he would like to join her for virtual lunch again?* :) *curls up next to* I'm glad that you've got your email stuff sorted, that's good. How else are you doing? still stressed? I don't blame you on that one, you've got a lot on your plate - but you WILL make it through!! :)

Just really low. So drained. I want this **** to just go away. :'( *big cuddles* That doesn't explain everything but struggling to even explain. How pathetic :crying:

Still stressed yes , Had my parents call to check up on me too , I hate that I'm worrying people. Doesn't help that I'm feeling low today anyway .

*Joins April for lunch* Whats cooking? Thankyou for the tea :) and Thankyou for choosing me to curl up next too *Hugs*

Hayley is at Eoghans but sends these-------> *GROUP HUGGLES fellow wardies*