hey guys. i have to run to a lecture but just to say thanks for all your wishes for my cousin. i can't visit him as i'd have to fly and yeah, plane tickets, cost, time, exams etc :(

will reply to all you lovely peoples later xx

blaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh >.<
Im no use to anyone tonight :-(

i'm sorry everyone i cant do it any more :crying:

Hun whats wrong?!?!:(
*hugs*

i'm hating everyhting right now i've had enough i want it all to go away and theres only one way i can see it happening but no 1 is letting me. i'm feeling so low tonight, my thoughts are really really bad and i cant deal with it i dont know if i want to

*hugs Cloe* will you keep us updated luv?

*hugs Alexx, Helen, Zowie, Katy, Jeremy, Katch, Emma, and anyone else in here she may have missed*

Helen I know I've told you this already but I am SO so proud of you.

Zowie, please don't OD hun, the consequences can be serious and long lasting.

Alexx hunni you are SO of use to folks if only us on here as you are SO kind and good at encouraging.

Jeremy, how goes it friend? Any better since this morning?

Katch, hun, feel free to talk if you feel you can.

Emma? *squishes* missing you sweetie.
------------
Me? I'm exhausted, hormonal (TMI I know but most of us are girls so...), my meds a screwing with me and I just don't want to do this any more.
*curls up in her corner and naps*

sweetheart..things might seem bad right now...they might seem really shitty...but it will get better...I cant promise it straight away...although god I wish I could because you deserve to be happy...but eventually..they'll get better and it will all go away.
You are stronger than you think...and I know that because you're still here....you're still fighting...sure you might be struggling at the moment...but everyone struggles...everyone needs help...thats what makes us human.
You have been doing so well to get this far and if I could help you...if I could take all the pain and hurt away....god help me I would....
But unfortunately I cant....what I can do is be here for you though. Ok?
You can do this.
Please keep trying.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Ally *hugs*

Has anyone seen Callie or Emma around recentlly?:-(

I should probably go....I have a shitty blood test in the morning...but I dont wanna be alone...

thanks, i wish i could believe i know you mean it i really do i wish i could beleivbe it will go away its been going on for so long i cant see the light its not there. i've tried so many times to get through to keep going. i've tried to get help. i've been in and out of hospital and i hate it i want it to go away so bad. i know people will say that the negative feeling/thoughts is just because of my state iof mind and all that but itrs more than that i kno what i want right now and nothigns stopping me thinking/going through it.

I know its hard...believe me I do...and it feels like you'll never feel any different, like you'll always be this way...but you wont.
Can you try think back to a really good day? Maybe a specail day like a wedding or a birth or maybe even just a day out with a close friend and try focus on that?
Have you called anyone like a crisis team or the hospital?
Sorry for all the questions...
Im really worried about you :(

theres nothing, i can be happy on the outside to other people so theres days people think i'm ok and i kno everyone does that but i cant think of anything my minds so full its empty if that makes sense ythe only thing i can think about is what i wann do.

i'm sorry i dont mean to worry anyone i just wanted to get it out. i have the crissi team if i need them i spoke to samaritans earlier and the mental health helpline, i saw my CPN today who knows i wasnt too good. the crisis team last time i spoke to them told me i hould be ok because i was at uni now!!!!!!

Im sorry to hear that :(
And that the crisis team were so useless....it seems theres a pattern forming with people in here and bad crisis team experiences ><

How about trying to rest abit? or maybe writing down everything?
Just any way to get the thoughts out of your head where they can do the most damage...

Im sorry....I wish I could help you more....

it varies with me and the crisis team it does depend whos on, as with most things. some i can talk to others i cant.

i am so tired but i cant sleep, i cant seem to sit still properly at the minute. i might try writing things down see if it helps at all i've got music playing to try and drown thoughts out and its not getting n en where.

your helping just being here

*runs around screaming and slamming doors and thinking about the tents on the buildings in the upper half of the complex and thinks about best scissors vs. rubberized canvas*

*looks at the pretty little red potatoes and the tomatoes that my husband is preparing so he can take them to the photo lab and photograph and wondering about pre-mashed potatoes and tomato puree.*
*thinks about the strawberries her husband brought home. Wonders how they'll taste if he has to pick them out of pavement*

Yeah, I am that angry. Total defense mechanism. Totally hormonal.

*hugs* shout and scream as much as you want here xxxx

You know what we should build?
A crash room...
Where if you get really annoyed...you can just go break stuff...and it doesnt really matter....
Anyone else like that idea?

that sounds like a good idea to me, i'm thinkin it will get used a lot x

aarrgghh the writing didnt help, i think i've just written a goodbye note!!!!!!! no rather i kno i have:crying:

Katey -lou so sorry I typed a whole message and lost it - now My mum says I have to unplug the router as it's too hot!!! Really wish I could make you feel better - but know that we are thinking of you and sending you hugs. I will look in tomorrow and see how you are doing. Take care