*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Nicole* Whats up ?

*hugs mark* just really tired and fed up. i love these DBT trips but they put me in such a bad mood :(

*spies Nicole & Mark, & glomps* :D

Nicole, love, what's going on?

Lindsay, as was said on the other page, just cos your pdoc said that you won't be well until you're in your 40s, doesn't mean that that's how it's going to pan out. They aren't God. They can't tell you just exactly when you'll get better. Could be quite a lot sooner... and you don't have to die, you have to keep fighting, even though it's really really tough. It'll be worth it, I promise. *gentle hugs*

Mark, I hope that your new lithium amount will help as well. Have you found it useful in the past?? I think I was on 1200mg/day as well, of lithium, way back in the day (2006? I think), but since my problems mostly aren't biochemical, it didn't help a lot. Just like the ECT didn't help a lot. Anyway. *cuddles*

*cuddles Hels* Are you looking forward to seeing your dad and Jane? Sounded like it, which is good. How'd the chat with them go? I think you said that your dad was angry, but not at you... but I can't remember how exactly it went. Sorry. :-X

*cuddles Laura* How are you doing now, love?

*cuddles Jill* What's up, sweetie? care to talk about it in any more depth?

*cuddles Crimson* Haven't heard from you in awhile, how are things going?

Thanks to all who responded to my post and/or r/v. I know that Jarrod does care, and Laura, you're probably right in saying that he's just desensitized himself as it hurts too much to really keep seeing/feeling... but still... it makes me feel like he doesn't care anymore, whether or not that's the case (and I don't think it is - but thinking and feeling are two very different things!!). Ugh. Why me, why now, why ever, why anyone?! :(

Have been pretty useless today... but... my meds did come!!! Woohoo. XD So now I have my Tegretol... or so I hope, haven't opened the package yet. Probably should do that, heh. How I despise mail-ordering meds!!!!! :(

The eye twitch hasn't been back... so that is relieving.

*cuddles everyone I didn't mention, and those that I did as well* :)

sorry but I really can't handle this anymore. I'm so scared that's somthing is going to happen to my dad he under so much stress. He trying to act tough but I'm so scared no matter if he says noithing going to happen. Same goes for my mum scared she going to try somthing, my mum already said when she was depressed that she thought about killing herself. Just want to dissapear off the face of the earth.

*Hugs Jill* I'm sorry your family is having such a hard time :(

Can I please have hugs.. I know i'm pathetic but... i really need them right now. I'm so overwhelmed.

*Super-Hugs Laura* It's not pathetic Laura, people need hugs somtimes :)

thanks mark *hugs back*

i wish i could believe that i am not a pathetic, useless human being. I'm so scared of everything. I need to be a stronger person.

*Hugs Laura* You're NOT pathetic or Useless . As for being scared , we all get scared sometimes , it's natural . I reckon your stronger than you give yourself credit for *Extra Hugs*

*cuddles everyone super tight*

April, it went really well. I only saw my Dad tonight. But yeah. Ended up crying at one point. About same thing I was crying about earlier. Was talking to my Dad more about that stuff aswell....was interesting...

Aw Laura, hon, you sound like me. *big big cuddles* I'm scared a lot and don't think I'm a strong person either... but then, look at what both of us have gone through, and have come out of or are still working through... and it's clear that we're not as weak as we think we are. *more cuddles* It's also not pathetic to need hugs, remember, I asked for them last night. PM me anytime, 'kay? I'm here if you need to talk. <3

Hels *cuddles* So glad that the talk went okay, and remember also, that crying is okay. May feel awkward and odd but it's alright. Especially because it's your dad and he cares for you, may not know how to comfort you (men often don't), but I'm sure he didn't mind. *more cuddles for you too*

Mark, how're you doing tonight?? *cuddles*

Jill, love, am so sorry to hear that your family's having so much difficulty. I'm here, as I said to Laura, if you need to talk more. *cuddles*

*Cuddles April* I'm watching a movie called "Red Mist" , there was one scene where a character has his trousers pulled down and has S.I. scars/wounds. It's triggered me , I honestly didn't see it coming . :S Other than that and being NUMB (Still) I'm just existing . *Sigh* Sorry

He really does care about me. Got lots of hugs today. Bless him. *cuddles April back*

Awwh thats great Helen:D

*hugs april* thanks.. i might PM you later about some things.

*hugs mark* thanks for talking to me. i'm sorry that movie triggered you. I hate unexpected triggers.

*hugs helen* im glad your dad is being supportive of you. Its good to get lots of hugs.

Ugh... just want to give up

Thats totally alright Laura :)
"I won't give up if you don't give up" your Sig Laura , Try not to give up, I know it's hard but you CAN do it , I completly beleive in you :)

*hugs everyone*

I believe in you, too, Laura - I believe in all of us here - and I'd be glad to have a PM from you. :) Wouldn't mind at all. *cuddles* Please don't give up... keep on fighting cos one day it WILL get better. I promise. <3

Hels, so glad that you have your dad. :) That's awesome... and hugs are amaaazing at helping us feel better, ey? *cuddles*

Mark, love, sorry that you got accidentally triggered. :( Please try & stay safe tonight... Sorry we didn't connect in chat today, maybe tomorrow we'll be on at the same time. Pop me an email whenever... even if it's just a vent, I honestly don't mind, I promise. *cuddles*

So warm here... ughhh. :( Hopefully I will sleep better tonight than I did last night... Jarrod was supposed to have a Future Soldier's thing tonight, but it got cancelled and he didn't find out until he'd gone there and discovered that no one was there. Poor him, all rushed to get ready and all and then found out after he rushed that it was cancelled. :( And the next one he won't be able to make as it's at noon on a work day. >_< Stupid people for scheduling it at stupid times. I think I'm more upset than he is though. :P

Ho hum. He's home now and I'm still super tired... guhhh.

*cuddles all*

*huggles everyone*

Sorry that we're all struggling so much. Wish I could make us all better. Nobody deserves to feel badly and personally, I don't believe anyone brings this sort of stuff on themselves. You all have worth, and are loving and kind people who deserved to be loved for who and what you are inside.

*big group hug*

*big group hug*