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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

I'mJustMe 14-07-2010 11:51 PM

I might be a bit late, but yes, you can pm me if you want to. My mail box is always open. :)

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 12:02 AM

Sometimes it would be so much easier to just be able to run away .... but then I remember that I would still be there

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:03 AM

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish, but it's hit. It's finally sinking in and I just can't...oh no. No. *Begins to cry, softly.*

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:04 AM

What's the matter Kahlia? It would be a very good thing for you to still be here, we would all miss you loads here on the ward. You deserve to be here (ward, life, Earth) as much as anyone. *Hugs*

MammaMia 15-07-2010 12:20 AM

Lia, Laura & Nicole, you should have a PM off me. Thank you & sorry.
Kahlia, sorry you want to run away =[ Please don't. It won't solve this.

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 12:30 AM

*hugs all who want hugs*

not up for replies, been a lot going on since I was last in here.

*hides in corner out of people way*

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:36 AM

I'm alone in here. Alone and scared and...oh what's the actual point. I want to scream and trash my room right about now. At the same time, I don't care. I have no energy. It's real. It's so very real and I can't deal with that.

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 12:37 AM

You alright Oliver? *Leaves jar of hugs if you want them*
x

MammaMia 15-07-2010 12:47 AM

*hugs Oliver*

Lia, thank you for your PM sweetheart, struggled but managed to formulate a reply back :)

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 01:24 AM

Lia, Hels: I'm sorry. I just can't keep doing this. It feels like I'm getting nowhere. The anxiety just keeps getting worse. I haven't heard back from the psychiatrist - and I know that means that he is either not where he has email access or that he is trying to work out what to do - but it means that I am lost. I'd like to "outrun my skin and just be pure wind". I'd like to leave my body, mind and soul behind. I am so sick of fighting to do my daily ADLs. To just sit and type, to just complete each simple task. It just makes me feel so useless. Like running away is the only option .... but you can't run away from yourself. . .

MammaMia 15-07-2010 01:27 AM

Kahlia. Darling. I know things are REALLY REALLY REALLY bad right now and you're struggling. Please don't kill yourself or run away. It won't fix this. You will get better, I promise. Just keep reaching out. Hell, go inpatient if it'll keep you safe. I know you hate it but we can't lose you. You won't always feel this bad.

Sorry, useless words I know. But I love & care about you a lot xxx

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 01:30 AM

Kahlia- I second what Helen said. You have held on this long for a reason, and I know you want to run. I know you want to run fast and far enough so you can escape yourself, but wherever you go you just drag yourself and your problems right along with you and at the end of the day, running is going to do no good. You've resisted urges for this long, and it was a huge step you made to go to the shopping centre without freaking out too much, so really well done on that. Focus on things like that, good things that are a step forward in your recovery. You can beat this, don't give up yet, you're stronger than that. *Huge Hugs*

xxx

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 01:40 AM

*hugs all*
feeling depressed, trying to cheer myself up by organising and looking at clothes for manchester pride, theme is through the ages and going as a victorian gentleman.

*hugs Kahlia* I know things are hard, but like the other 2 have said please don't run away or kill yourself, we would miss you greatly in here.

*hugs Hels*

*hugs Lia*

MammaMia 15-07-2010 01:44 AM

I feel like giving up too lol :(

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 01:44 AM

Helen, Lia & Oliver: Thank you.

I've just had a scary experience with my shoulder and I'm trying to get some help with that too. (It made a sound like clothing ripping/about to rip but the sound was inside the shoulder.)

I'm talking with my housemate about where I am (mentally) and where things are going.

Just one step at a time. It can't rain all the time, right?

*hugs all of you tightly*

MammaMia 15-07-2010 01:47 AM

Gosh, the shoulder sounds scary babe :(

One step at a time, we're here to hold your hand tight through it all. It can't rain all the time babe.

*hugs you gently*

Kahlia1981 15-07-2010 01:55 AM

The shoulder is really scary - it's the shoulder I had surgery on last year so it's kind of double scary.

Thankyou all.

*huggles*

frenchhorn 15-07-2010 01:58 AM

*hugs Kahlia* that shoulder sounds really painful, hope it gets better soon. If not maybe you should see someone about it.

MammaMia 15-07-2010 02:10 AM

Kahlia - I thought it would be somehow :(

I'm sorry all, I'm going to crash to bed, it's too overwhelming right now & I must get some sleep anyway. Have another **** early start & stuff.

Scarletdreamer 15-07-2010 02:16 AM

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm sorry, love, for how you're feeling/doing... wish there were something I could do. Just know that I'm here rooting/praying for you. *extra special healing/encouraging cuddles*

*cuddles Oliver, Hels, Lia, Laura, and everyone else who's been about*

*glomps Jess since she spots her* :D

I'm... I don't know. :( I'm sorry that I've missed so many pages/posts, anyway... I feel like a useless wardmate, as I've said before. :(

I hate not knowing how I am. :'(


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