*huggles and holds Mark's hand* Of course you didn't know all of the answers. you were anxious and had never had to undergo this process before, this is why your SW went with you. You shouldn't feel bad about that. I understand the leftover stress getting to you but you don't have to cut you can stay here with us. Have you tried drawing as a distraction method? That sometimes works.

Please distract yourself, Mark... write "Love" on your arm (http://www.twloha.org) with colored pens... draw... shred newspapers... punch a soft pillow... even use a rubber band on your wrist. You can make it through this... we're here for you, love. *holds your other hand* You're a strong guy... you've just got to discover that strength within yourself.

Thankyou Crimson and April :), Why am I like this ? surely if my meds were working I would not need to cut? , am angry at myself , I eat too much today from the stress of it all and that just makes me wanna beat myself up too. *Sigh* I'm gonna make a camomille tea , thats what I always suggest to people, Take my own advice .......

Maybe the tea will help... I hope so!! Mint or ginger tea is also good and relaxing, if you have either of those - at least, they're relaxing to me, not necessarily to everyone I guess. Not sure. *cuddles* I'm sorry that you're feeling so **** right now, is there anything I can do??

I 'm sorry I don't know if there is anything you could do , Maybe I'll go on WoW in a bit , thankyou for being here :) Thankyou to April AND Crimson.

WoW would probably be a good idea, just have fun on it, randomly level up by killing things - since splattering monsters on screen can be cathartic when you can't get rid of your own monsters. *huggles* I wish we could play together but I'm not at home so couldn't play anyway, boo hiss. :(

I'm printing off 50 of these Parent Resource Guides and I get to staple them together tomorrow but thing is I'm supposed to print off 500 and that is SEVEN THOUSAND PAGES!!!!!! >_<

So yeah. I am NOT taking home 7000 pages of stuff to staple!!

*hides in her hole* :'(

Hmmm So you have 700 pages to staple? it sounds quite a few . are you working from home tomorow?

*huggles Mark* Sorry for vanishing for a bit there... my internet went wonky and wouldn't load any pages or even refresh any... had to close and reopen the browser a few times before it'd work again. I hope wow and the tea help.
I'll still be checking in throughout the day (maybe even after I get home depending on what else is going on). *huggles all*

*curls up*

a)clothes shoppiong shouldnt exist [and bloody hell im huge =/]
b)i was dumb the other day and flipped and scratched tummy... not lots/not deep but apparnetly my aunt saw when she took me shopping today... and now mums gonna look when she gets home and am screwed and i just ugh.

Mark, yeah I'm working from home tomorrow. I will have at least 1400 pages to staple (in booklet form so I need to borrow a special stapler!!) since I just printed off another 50 booklets (700 pages). GAHH!!!! >_< Hopefully Jarrod can help some...

Heather, aren't you old enough to claim privacy privileges on your mum checking up on you? :-/ I mean, that's obviously not a legal thing, lol, just something I made up, but it seems if you're over 18 you should be able to tell your parents NO and have it count as a NO. And I agree, clothes shopping sucks. *cuddles*

ARGH am so freaking warm... :( I'm so thirsty too!!

Heather Rght? I looked at your profile pic and you are NOT huge , I dislike clothes shopping too * Hugs*

:/ according to sizes hadda get i am... *sigh*
and and if i do say no she'll just KNOW im saying it cuz of that... and im horrid at being assertive ><
gah. stupid clothes shopping =[ had a lean cuisine thingy for lunch... feel too much =[ wish body would do what me want it to =[
*shushes*

sorry I can keep doing this, want to dissapear of the face of
the earth, no longer give a rats ass. Don't see the point
anymore allready brust into tears when a freind asked
if I was okay. Today has just been ****, really had enough.

*hug* im useless but you CAN do this x

*hugs everyone lots & lots*

Trying to keep telling myself she'll be talking me again soon and just need to keep going, I swear each day without properly talking makes it harder. Perhaps aswell all the stuff that happened for us both on Tuesday makes it worse & we were going to have a good old chat yesterday.

It's worse when we've had an argument/situation, as I'm sat there blaming myself. I knew it was coming this time (sometimes I do). But everyday without, is a day closer to her/me/people being okay. Everyday I breathe is a day closer to everything be okay again right? I'm talking a load of waffle, it doesn't have to be replied to, just thinking/talking out loud. It's helping, a bit >_>

So over everything. Trying to keep going. I really am.

*hugs Hels* I definitely go into super-tidying mode when something's bugging me to the point I have excess energy :P Or maybe a slightly manic mode, because I'll clean our whole house top to bottom!

*hugs April* I'll go read your r/v once I post this, and come back and edit. I know how it feels to want to put on a happy face, act like everything's fine... sometimes though, that just makes it worse (at least for me) because you just want somebody to take notice. Whether that's the same for you, I have no idea... but that's just my mindset :/

*hugs Kat* I'm alright... was in a complete crap mood before leaving for work, and for the first half of my shift. On my break I took some painkillers though, and apparently they work to help me focus? Or at least change my mood =/ Although that could have to do with the thunderstorm we had :) I love lightning/thunder + rain... weird? But makes me REALLY happy. How have you been?

*hugs Crimson* That's awesome that you daughter likes the history book :) I could never get interested in history... it just bores me =/

*hugs Mark* I wish I had been around :( Stupid work >< I hope you haven't given in to the urges... And I hope the chamomile tea made you feel slightly better. <3

*hugs shadowedsoul tightly*

*hugs Heather* You are NOT huge hun :) You're gorgeous. But I agree with the dislike of clothes shopping... my mom used to force me to go when I was younger and always made me try on clothes I hated and weren't my typical tomboy style. I'm still not a fan of clothes shopping, but I'm getting used to it.

*hugs April tightly* Just read your r/v... if I were you, I'd be SUPER pissed. "It just happened"? WTF. That's ridiculous, especially as a therapist. Since she worked with you for 5 years, surely she must have known what an impact that would have???

If she had thought of you quite a bit, she could have picked up the phone and made contact. Urgh, sorry... I get angry about people's actions way too easily. Although if you still want to see her, maybe it's worth phoning her up and arranging a new appointment?

Bless you Taz, I didn't even finish it. Once, I cleaned nearly the whole house in 3 hours AND cooked dinner aha!!! Was exhausted but it was worth it =]

Is anyone around , someone who won't get triggered easily , I need to PM someone but only if they are safe to read it

I'm kinda round Mark...*cuddles tight*