yeah I'm okay Laura. Rache is just out sick yesterday and today... on the upside the other position I've been covering? They're doing final interviews today for it... only 3 people and one of them is the person that's been helping me get caught up the last couple months.

*Hugs Crimson*

*Spots and Hugs Felicia*

*Spots and Hugs Helen*

*hugs Mark & everyone else*

Ugh this evening sucked. I don't know why I'm feeling strange and down, but being asked "Whats wrong, why won't you talk to me, think about it and figure out whats wrong" every 2 minutes doesn't help me feel better or think about whats wrong. ¬.¬ *cuddles all*

*hugs Sarah* I have days like that. I'm sorry.

*hugs everyone* wards very quiet tonight.......

I wish I could say something more than hugs and stuff about myself all the time. Ugh.

*cuddles all*

*hugs sarah* that doesnt matter, we all know how hard it is to support other people when you're struggling yourselfs, i think thats one of the hard things about this website, people find it hard to support themselves and other people at times, but we all go through good times and bad times and i think it ends up balancing out with how much support we give ad how much we receive.

Indeedy. I'm heading off to bed to have nice conversations with my stuffed octopus. *massive squishy cuddles* x

*cuddles sarah* nighty night. x

*hides and cries*

*findes helen and gives her gentle cuddles* whats up sweetie?

*clings to Nicole* I've ****ed up. I've tried to help all night and then made everything worse and think I've really upset them :'(

*cuddles helen* shhh, right, whats happening, i'm sure you havent ****ed up sweetie, and you cant do any more than try. what happend? *holds you*

*hugs Nicole*

Also, I just realised, she thought all I cared about was the damm ****ing video call. So ****ing untrue. I'm texting her (in a nice way) to correct her and stuff. Ugh. Such a **** up.

*hugshugshugshugs helen* no sweetie, you arent usless, you dont sound pathetic, and you are doing your best to help your friend! you need to remember that although it's ok that you are helping your friend, you need to think of yourself aswell! and maybe you did upset her, i dont know, but she will see that you are only looking after her, you can't do much more than you are already hun, i promise, and your friend should see that.
and you don't need to cut hun, honestly, think how well your doing without it, you have been absolutley amazing and i hope one day i will be able to be like you, because recovery is hard, but you're almost there! so please don't go back now? i know what you mean about it being hard seeing her like this, i have a friend who i recently found out is very depressed again, and i hate it, and i do blame myself sometimes, but we shouldnt cause as much as we try there is nothing we can do to stop them, we just have to help and support them and hope they get better, and you honestly are one of the best friends in the world to this girl because not many people would be botherd with this!
also sorry your feeling ill again :( do you know why you are ill? and sorry if that is all rambling rubbish, i'm half asleep. :/

*hugs you lots and tries not to get my tears all over you* I feel useless and feel like sound pathetic. I am trying my best to help her & she knows that & it means a lot to her. I don't care about myself that much. I did upset her, I know that much, especially after re-reading what she said before going. Hopefully the text I just sent her will help & she'll be okay with me tomorrow. She knows I'm looking after her. I know I can't do much more than I already am but I wish I could & she said I'm doing more than enough right now :'(

I know I don't need to cut & doing well without it I guess. I don't feel like I've been absolutely amazing though. I hope you do get this far Nicole because I know you can do it. Recovery is hard, like you said.

You shouldn't blame yourself for your friend. You're not rambling honey. I don't know why I'm ill, am putting it down to this head/migraine :( But my migraines don't normally last this long or make me feel this ill :(

*huggles helen* i hope your friend calms down and talks to you again, and please stay safe hun. i'm really really sorry but i don't think i can actually stay awake a second longer :/ *squishes hard* you look after yourself ok? night night.

Hope you sleep well. I should go to bed myself instead crying. It won't make any difference. Night night *hugs and squishes you tight*