I PMed back saying that if a break is what he needs we can respect that but dont be afraid of upsetting us as we support each other and we know that what we say can be potentiionaly (whoa bad sp) triggering.
Hopefully he will start posting back, will wait for his reply.

that sounds good :) thank you for that!!! that's what support is all about!

i hope he finds the strength within himself to return as i don't think it's completely about hurting us but more that he doesn't think he deserves the support and comfort we're here to give.

Jess,
Good Idea about Jeff. I wish I knew how to tell him how much we care.

*sits in her corner, knees to cheat, hands on head and rocks ever so slightly*
Nonononononononononononoidontwanttoidontwanttoidon twanttoicanticanticanticant:crying:
*continues rocking ever so slightly*

*jumps on Emma and clings to her*

Sweetie, I hope you're ok hunni, were you safe? *snuggles*

I'm awful :crying: I don't WANT to go :crying:

I'd spent a bit of time talking to Jeff last night. Sent him a pm in my early hours of the morning.
This is his response;

Proof of life, share as you see fit

i am sad, i want jeff to come back, i guess its understandable if he wants space but i think he needs to be supported.

i shut up now

I want him back so bad too. He is afraid of hurting us because he is so angry.

He hasnt replyed to me yet :(
I am afraid of hurting you guys too and I imagen we all think like that when we are wrighting out our posts.

Marc, could you please let him know how much we want him here, even if he doesn't think it would be good for us?

My anger and sorrow are so big sometimes too, that i worry about it.

Right now I'm triggered. I can't let go of the idea of scarification. I won't do it, but I sure want to. I wish that what i had done in January had scarred, at least a bit of it.

Just got a reply, He says he doesnt feel safe to be around but will note us that he is "still alive" which is somthing i guess...
Am going to reply sending all our love with it.

Going to the pub tonight :D

I've heard from him I think there times since he left the ward, once in one of my threads and two PMs... Very supportive, as is Jeff... I wish I knew why he felt like he may hurt us :-(

Just got back from my session... Will post in my 'please, I can't do this...' thread. Suffice it to say it sucked, it was worth it, can't wait to cut and drink later on...

I'm still crying about Jeff.

*squeezes blondie*

I think the best thing we can do for Jeff right now is pray/think about him and let it be. He worries about hurting us, as he has told us several times before, and our lamenting here would not be helpful to him should he come in lurking to checkup on us. For Jeff, we need to take care of ourselves and eachother and hope that he comes back to our ward soon.

*steps off her soap box and returns to her corner to huddle there feeling... Well she's not sure what but it's not good*

*Squezze for forever lost also*

Please, I need hugs.
I've been crying so much, it is giving me an asthma attack, a bad one.

*holds blondie* you got your inhaler? Do you need a doctor?!?!

**** i have the urge, but the urge is in a notacable place. I wont be able to deal with questions and all the **** again...but i need to so somthing. Oh **** my brain hurts cant decide.