At least your mind is still here. Mine goes allover the place. I just go along for the ride.

*hugs everyone*
*goes off to look for travel alarm clock and a nice place to curl up for an hour*

I'm back fully in the psych ward, 2 days at my parents was hard, having to hide my cuts, not being able to smoke (Thats my more sociably acceptable form of SH when out and about that my parents don't know about either) and pretending I was happy. I'm exhausted from it all.
The consultant was confident that the pre-cancerous cells found are not aggressive and can be easily removed with laser treatment. I know I should be over the moon as cancer is a horrible disease that robs us of our loved ones in an ugly manner, but part of me thought that at least if I died of cancer that would be easier for my family to accept than for me to continue this facade of a life. Then I feel awful for thinking that way and feel that i should punish myself, let the badness flow out of me....
time to go and curl up in the corner of the ward without sharp objects for my own safety me thinks.....
hope all you others going through a tough time don't think I'm tiz-wozzing over nothing, I can't begin to imagine your pain and I wish I could make it better and find the words to support you, but tonight my heads just not in the right place, sorry.xx

*hugs Hayley gently*
Hope things get better for you real soon.
If you need to talk, I am just a PM away.
*hugs again*

Thanks for that. i don't know whats up with me. Just reading that short message has made me cry. part of me wants to go to bed but I get scared of my own thoughts at night when I'm all in a tiz-woz, my brain just goes over and over and I can't stop the bad thoughts. Any tips on getting to sleep quickly and safely?

Good idea

im deffient checking in

arrrghhhhh!!! Is there a padded cell in here?!!!!

oh and welcome little sheep, hope I don't scare you and you enjoy your stay.xx

*yawns* i didn't sleep hugely well last night. But yeah... going to nap on and off today!

Naps are good...

Hey everyone, might not remember me, havent been in for a while i've been (and still am in hospital) i'm just coming in to say a big hello to everyone
hope your all ok *hugs*

still awake, been in the chat rooms to distract myself so think I can go to bed shortly without the need for a padded cell. Am so glad that theres always someone online somewhere when you need them.

Oh I know right?

*hugs you all*

KATEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! *jumps on you* How's it going hun?

Amanda, good to see you.

Susan, I forgot to say earlier, glad to hear your friend is awake.

Hayley, we'll always be here sweetie.

xxx

Good to see you too Hells
*hugs*

hey Hells, erm still not great. all my meds have been changed, but things are still not going well. i've not been allowed out for a bit, i was last weekend but then stuff happened so not been allowed out again. i'm allwed my laptop though, not ment 2 b on net but never mind! wards busy they wont notice. i'll come in 2morrow and do a better update.

how you? xxxx

Awwww thanks *hugs back*

It's good to hear from you swetie. I'm sorry you're still not great but you sound like you're slowly getting there.

*snuggles*

I'm not doing at all good. Meh.

*huggles you all loads*

I feel like sh*t i have a date today and i sooooooooooo don't wanna go, as i kinda gave in last night :( i know its naughty but i didn't care at the time now i do :( i am so dead later if my date see's my arm. xxx

*hugs you lots*

Take care of that cut/s

be safe sweethearts. please. sfe.

Hey. cindy in checking on wildone? has anyone seen her in here? she threw me out her room last night as she went on a bender. ben drinking since. Hope she doesnt find the blade i've hidden.

*hugs all in here*
*is worried*

I want to die.
I want to go to Dominican Republic.
I want to die.
I want to go to Dominican Republic.
I want to die.
I want to go to Dominican Republic.
I want to die.
I want to go to Dominican Republic.
I want to die.
I want to go to Dominican Republic.

*cries* damm conflictions. damm that topic. damm seeing that pic. damm it all!