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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 05:23 PM

*Squashes Jill* Due to an unfortunate typo just then, I was squishing kill. I don't know what to say other than we are all here to listen to and help you. What were you getting up to all the time you were absent from the ward? Was it because you were doing better, or because you couldn't face it? I hope for the former.

*Hugs Nicole* As I've said, you'll be alright in college, it's just getting there that's the issue. I'm always fine as soon as I'm back in school it's just the prospect that worries me.

*Hugs Mark* I'm sorry you're feeling so low today, but I'm glad you were able to talk to someone and I hope you can feel a litte better soon. You're not worthless, you're always there to support us all, even if you're feeling **** yourself. You're a huge part of the ward and this place would be dead weird (and not in a good way) without you.

*Hugs Lindsey* I'm sorry you did that :( I'm glad you're going to get help if you don't feel better soon. I'd hate for anything to happen to you that can't be taken back. I'm sure they don't think you're a waste of space, we certainly don't :)

SparkleKitten 04-01-2011 05:25 PM

Hey guys. Went docs today and had my contraceptive coil removed. Hurts :(

Feeling really low and meh today. And sleepy. Very, very sleepy. And at the doctors at 9 tomorrow to change my meds dose again... Ugh.

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 05:34 PM

*Hugs Sarah* Did they not give you any painkillers? I'm sorry you're low :(. I'm sleepy too, got less than 3 hours sleep last night. Still, never mind. Had to jolly on since school doesn't wait until you've slept enough to face it. Chin up :)

ˈsäləˌterē 04-01-2011 05:48 PM

Thanks Mark! I can always count on you! I'm so sorry you're havin a rough day! I'll say a prayer for ya.

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 05:51 PM

Massive sigh. I'm going to take Nicole's advice.

I'm not all my best today. School's good, it gives me something to cling to, but clinging's getting harder. I realised today I do need to change. I can't go on like this because I hurt people. After an email chat with my friend, I realised by pushing people out, I don't only not let them care about me, but I don't let me carea about them and that makes them think they've done something wrong.

So step one. This pain hurts. I'm not doing great these last few days (the bad English of that sentecne serving as one piece of evidence). Today, I've barely eaten, last night, I barely slept. I've been fighting my urges for a few days now, and I haven't caved, but it's been a huge fight and I don't really know what's stopped me.

Doikers 04-01-2011 06:01 PM

*Hugs Lia* I'm glad it wouldn't be in a good way :) You're doing so great hun not giving into the urges :)

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you are in pain hun , Do you have any pain killers like Lia Said?

*Hugs Solo* I'm sort of searching Spiritually but all prayers are gratefully received :)

shadowedsoul 04-01-2011 06:07 PM

hugs mark, and lia. everthing just kicking off again, getting so pissed off with everyone in real life. erm i wasnt on because i was feeling very low and couldnt deal with anything. had just walked out of my job, because i was really depressed and was very close to doing somthing stuiped. cant find a job right now. feel worthless, doesnt help that my former employers are being asses. and now the people that give me dole money are being asses. because i "left" my job. what other choice did i have? sorry thats kind of long.
just want to die, just want out. cries

Doikers 04-01-2011 06:22 PM

*Hugs Jills* awh I'm sorry you're so low hun , You're not worthless Hun I promise , I really like you :)

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 06:25 PM

*sits in the denial tent*
The end of yesterday sucks and remembering it today just makes me feel crappy. I didn't burst into random tears in front of everyone -held those in- and I didn't give in to urges so why do I feel so crummy?

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 06:25 PM

*Hugs Jill* I second Mark. You're not worthless. You can do this. It gets better someday.

*Hugs Crimson* Sometimes, we just do. It really sucks when you don't know what's causing your mood.

risenfromperdition 04-01-2011 06:27 PM

*cuddles anyone who wants and yawns*

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 06:28 PM

Sorry about that I was a bit selfish and self involved there (^)...
*hugs everyone*
Aside from the lack of sleeping, how are you all?
Btw... Mark I think putting your email and to let you know by that contact if/when they'd like you in is a grand idea but don't forget to put it in a sealed envelope. :) too easy to get a simple slip of paper lost by itself.

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 06:29 PM

-hugs ward-

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 06:31 PM

I'm better I guess.

*Hugs Kitty* How are you?

*Hugs Heather* Und du?

SparkleKitten 04-01-2011 06:38 PM

Ugh my sister is being a dick. With the whole drinking thing she keeps being really mean and nasty to me, but even though I have the evidence she's been doing things she shouldn't I still can't say anything...

Doikers 04-01-2011 06:40 PM

*Hugs Crimson Sometime we just hold it together without know how , Goodness knows I've been there :S You could let your tears out in private if you need to hun , crying is not something to be ashamed of , I almost started crying in My First ever keyworker meeting with my new keyworker today , but I held it together I haven't cried in a while it's there inside me but will it come out? nope . sorry wondered off the track , point is crying is healthy :)

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Kitty* How are you Hun?

*Hugs Heather* How are you also?

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 06:45 PM

The following content has been hidden - Reason : well crap... the continuing saga of M's brother
Crimson (9:04 AM): I think M's brother knew what he was doing and did it intentionally... (I didn;t get ahold of D but either she has a different last name than I remember her using before or she works elsewhere now... I'll clarify later by myspace or facebook) But why I say that is he was incarcerated at the same time as the last person to do the diving died and R makes the second in less than 3 years to do it but this is only the 5th time it happened in 26- 27 years (since 1984 but it doesn't say when in 84 they started tracking inmate suicides). If he said no when they asked him if he was or had had suicidal thoughts/ tendencies and acted normal when he turned himself in they wouldn't have put him on a suicidewatch and he was only there 3 hrs 31 minutes between turn in/booking and time of death (after the medics got there and pronounced on scene).
So all in all I think at this point that while it isn;t what M and B are going to want to hear I think he went into the jail planning it, got processed and jumped off the balcony the first chance he got knowing it'd work since he'd been there the last time it had.
D (9:26 AM): I see. Well ****, that's not going to make them feel any better.
Crimson (9:26 AM): I know.
Crimson (9:27 AM): I'm still gonna try to get ahold of D though... I could be wrong in my digging... just what it looks like to me thus far
D (9:27 AM): It's fine hun. Do what you can.

Do what I can... What exactly is it I can do? There's an investigation but no suspecting of foul play so obviously the jail is trying to prevent this from happening again. If I tell M that it wasn't the jails fault and all of the above she's just gonna be pissed off (as is B) because then there's no reason to discipline anyone at the jail and they want someones ass for it. They also don't see why they policy of holding inmate possessions for 30 days should apply to their case and want an exception but don't want to call the AG or go through the Ombudsman's office. *face/desk and repeat* I figured I'd ask D since she worked at the jail as a CO last time I checked but that's not even a guarantee that she can tell me anything even if she was right there and saw/knows it all...
Though I still think it's the Native Hospitals fault for giving him all those meds and not monitoring him at all. But if they cause waves there M and her daughter either won't get treatment or will be treated poorly and they can't afford to pay for insurance or medical bills (the native hospital provides free care to AK natives). *sighs and goes back to hiding under pillows in the denial tent*

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 06:47 PM

-hugs lia and mark- I'm alive. Crummy. Good to hear you are doing better lia. How are you mark?

-hugs sarah- sorry to hear about your sister :(

nicole94 04-01-2011 06:51 PM

*Hugs everyone*
Sorry everyone's feeling so low this evening.
Lia, remember you can text me any time, day or night if you need to chat, I know I keep going on about it, but I really do care about you, and I worry because you don't share anything :(
And everyone else feel free to PM whenever, I promise I will try to reply ASAP.

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 06:52 PM


*Hugs Crimson Sometime we just hold it together without know how , Goodness knows I've been there :S You could let your tears out in private if you need to hun , crying is not something to be ashamed of , I almost started crying in My First ever keyworker meeting with my new keyworker today , but I held it together I haven't cried in a while it's there inside me but will it come out? nope . sorry wondered off the track , point is crying is healthy :)
Crying in front of other people just usually makes me angry... and I'd have felt like an asshole since I was in the car with M. *sigh* I dunno maybe being in that close of proximity made me feel worse because of how she was feeling *note to self -put up better shields regarding empathic absorption-*

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