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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

ljmeep 26-12-2010 07:39 PM

thanks... i do have one person aside from RYL to talk too... the prolem is that she also used to SI and I worry about setting her back. she's my bff and has been since we were in 4th grade... she's been struggling with her depression lately too so I don't want to lay too much on her... I don't hold back emotions from everyone... but i hold back all but happy and angry from hubby... i just can't stand being brushed off and it hurts :(

*sigh and deep breath* i think i just need to get away for a while, but there is no way to do that... not right now at least :(

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 07:55 PM

I know it does, Kelly. There's nothing worse than someone who struggles to open up finally doing so only to basically be told their feelings don't matter. It makes me feel like no one's ever going to hear me and I'm not worth listening to, so there's no point. It does nothing to increase my feelings of self worth.

It's good that you do have someone else to talk to, but I get that you don't want to burden people. Another of my reasons for keeping to myself. But a chat now and again could be good for the both of you.

I hate it when I am trying to talk to too many people at once Nicole. Last night, I was texting two, had two on fb chat, two on fb messaging and the same two on someone's status. I was also trying to watch Harry Potter and write. Fail.

ljmeep 26-12-2010 07:58 PM

thanks... it's nice to know someone else feels the same way... though i wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

nicole94 26-12-2010 08:00 PM

I know lia, i always seem to be trying to do too many things at once! sillyme.
OMG. I just turned the music channels on and the go compare man has a version of santa clause is coming to town. :O

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:08 PM

Oh my life, I hate the go compare man. I, along with 99% of the population, wish to shoot him. There's a Harry Potter version of the 12 Days of Christmas on youtube.

It does suck to feel this way, but there are people out there who care. I have found someone who does, but I just don't want to tell her about the cutting I haven't quit and the suicidal thoughts because then she'd worry about me and I'm not worth that. And I'm scared once she knows all that stuff, she'll just turn against me and ditch me like my best friend did.

nicole94 26-12-2010 08:15 PM

:O I love the go compare man XD I am probably about the only person in the world that does though!

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:18 PM

Yes, I think you are Nicole. Everyone else has him 2nd on their 'to kill' list, after Nick Clegg.

Doikers 26-12-2010 08:19 PM

*Hugs Lia* I hope you enjoyed your dog walk ,I too walked the family Dog in the dark .

*Hugs Ljmeep*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Solo*

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:23 PM

Mark :) *Hugs* It gave me time to think, and clear my head a little. So it was alright I guess. How are you? How was Christmas?

Doikers 26-12-2010 08:25 PM

I too find it hard to speak to people Lia, I am terrified of rejection *Sigh* But I have you guys and gals and I don't know what I'd do without you .
My Mum was all like even though you aren't on the Antabuse anymore you mustn't drink yesterday , then procceded to down the best part of a bottle of wine whilst sat right next to me at Christmas Dinner . She , tonight asked us is we wanted a drink and I got camomille and spiced Apple tea and Mum and Dad are sat downstairs drinking Southern Comfort . I Really want to try drinking responsibly and thought that I would have my familys support but nooo now I have to hide it like some 30 year old naughtey child . ****.

nicole94 26-12-2010 08:35 PM

*hugs lia and mark*
lia-lol. I just think he's really funny!
mark- Sorry your family are being like that, its hard when they don't trust you, and what i dont get is they always say you have to gain the trust back, but then they never give you a chance to do that *Hugs*

Doikers 26-12-2010 08:37 PM

Gorgeous Version of this song , Nice and chilled out :) TBG is amazing.

risenfromperdition 26-12-2010 09:54 PM

*yawwwn* i've only been up for like 2.5 hours and just wana go back to bed. in my defense i didnt fall asleep til after 5 but still

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 10:15 PM

Kelly and Lia, unfortunately, I can so relate to your hubby n friend troubles! I too have trouble talking and trusting. I agree. I wouldn't wish any of this on anyone.

Thanks so much for the hug Mark! Any of you, feel free to pm me anytime!

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 10:22 PM

By the way Lia, yes you are worth worrying about! Isn't life rough enough without beating your own self up?

ljmeep 26-12-2010 11:05 PM

aww... feelin the love right now *tears* ... I think your worth it IceQueenHasAHeart <3

Mark... you're not a 30 year old nauty child, but I understand feeling that way... well in my case that would be a 27 yr old nauty child. ;) My parents hate my choices. I was terrified to tell my dad when I got pregnant all 3 times... he was so down on my choice of husband... Just know that you're not alone in feeling like you have to hide things from your folks. and thanks for the hugs :)

Cazki 27-12-2010 12:03 AM

Hey everyone

*Hugs Mark* How are you mate?

*Hugs Nicole* Hows you?

Hi Solo, how are you? Im Ian :)

Hi ljmeep, you ok? I'm Ian

*Hugs Lia* How are you?

*Hugs Heather* How are you?

ljmeep 27-12-2010 12:09 AM

we met yesterday, ian... and i'm hanging in there.. barely, but i am. i created my own padded cell (figuratively as in another forum not litterally)... got some stuff off my chest and am starting to feel a little better... thanks

MammaMia 27-12-2010 12:15 AM


Hope you didn't all miss me too much :) I've had a lovely Christmas & Boxing Day yay ^_^

Also on Christmas Day I made 10 months, so Kahlia was right in asking if I was reaching a milestone :)

I'm off to bed now, will post more now Christmas is over :D

ljmeep 27-12-2010 12:30 AM

*looks down and shakes head in shame* K... so I thought I was doing well at hiding my relapse from my BFF ... she knew about the first time, but none of the ones after ... guess I wasn't doing a good job... she already knew... it's kinda a relief though... *sigh*

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